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Talk:Marisa and Alice/Translation/Story: Difference between revisions

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:To clarify: I prefer putting "♪" and "☆" after other punctuation, because they affect the tone of the overall text (or, at least, I interpret them that way). I prefer to put tildes before other punctuation, because they affect the length of specific words. --[[User:TheSinnerChrono|TheSinnerChrono]] 21:59, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
:To clarify: I prefer putting "♪" and "☆" after other punctuation, because they affect the tone of the overall text (or, at least, I interpret them that way). I prefer to put tildes before other punctuation, because they affect the length of specific words. --[[User:TheSinnerChrono|TheSinnerChrono]] 21:59, 30 June 2009 (UTC)


Interestingly, most placements of the ♪ I found when searching for it were without punctuation. If the only punctuation that would appear with the note would be a period, it is dropped. On stage 2 of [[http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Mystic_Square:_Marisa's_Scenario this page]] there is a note following exclamation marks, so it would seem that the standard is to keep it after the punctuation. I don't know if the periods should be dropped, since that Japanese dialogue doesn't seem to have very many "。"'s, while this dialogue has it at (I think) every line that doesn't have some other punctuation.
Interestingly, most placements of the ♪ I found when searching for it were without punctuation. If the only punctuation that would appear with the note would be a period, it is dropped. On stage 2 of [[Mystic Square/Translation/Marisa's Scenario|this page]] there is a note following exclamation marks, so it would seem that the standard is to keep it after the punctuation. I don't know if the periods should be dropped, since that Japanese dialogue doesn't seem to have very many "。"'s, while this dialogue has it at (I think) every line that doesn't have some other punctuation.


And I see the "Netherworldly" was just added back. I believe you when you say らしい makes it an adverb, but that doesn't make sense with how it is in English. An adverb modifies an adjective, verb, or adverb, but it is clearly modifying the noun (sake). "Hmmmm... Netherworldly sake..."; there isn't even anything else in that sentence for it to modify but the noun!
And I see the "Netherworldly" was just added back. I believe you when you say らしい makes it an adverb, but that doesn't make sense with how it is in English. An adverb modifies an adjective, verb, or adverb, but it is clearly modifying the noun (sake). "Hmmmm... Netherworldly sake..."; there isn't even anything else in that sentence for it to modify but the noun!

Latest revision as of 04:22, 19 January 2011

Cleaned up some stuff on the main page, but I'm no QC expert. Would be nice if someone else could double check it. A TC probably wouldn't hurt, which I can't do.

All scripts inserted as they are now, and brief testing with no problems.

And, some things I've noticed on the main page, but did not fix.

Onomatopoeia: When at the beginning of the sentence, it's sometimes capitalized (e.g. *Sigh*) and sometimes not (*sigh*). I'd assume this should be consistent.

Stars, tildes and music: These are placed after the punctuation, e.g. "But, I guess today turned out pretty well.♪". Personally I'd think that it would flow better to come before the punctuation, like "But, I guess today turned out pretty well♪.". Should I change this? There are also a few notes and stars I noticed in the Japanese script that are not in the English translation. Deliberately dropped or just an oversight?

Prologue: the line "(Why are there fallen stars here anyway?)". Was "stars" used instead of "☆" for any reason?

World 3: "to the victor goes the spoils.". The (English) expression is "To the victor belong the spoils", or "To the victor go the spoils" (Wikipedia has a redirect for the latter, but the article on the spoils system only mentions the former). I've never heard 'goes', but google says it's fairly popular as well. Change it?

World 3: "I said "Get lost!"". Reisen said "Beat it". Was there any reason for the change?

World 4: "Why don't you about this, Marisa?". You're missing something. "Why don't you (do something) about this, Marisa?", perhaps.

World 4: "the phantasmagoria of flower view". Shouldn't it be "Phantasmagoria of Flower View", with no 'the'?

World 6: Some of patchy's dialogue is still missing from the translation.

愛と勇気と渇望の名の元に!!
猛る嫉妬は紅蓮の炎!
あんたなんて、あんたなんて…!
死んじゃえバインダァァーッ!!!

This accompanies the lines

……ちょっと魔が差したのよ。魔が。
なんか仲良さげに帽子なんかかぶせちゃっ
たりして何よそれなにかのあてつけ?
製作者の偏愛?解せない解せない-

Which did get translated, and I'm guessing that's why you missed it.

Qazmlpok 20:46, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

I just fixed some of the punctuation, capitalization, and grammar issues. Once the rest is done, I can try checking the translation (I've already noticed a few errors).
I'm fine with either placement of "♪", although I slightly prefer putting it after the other punctuation. Do you know where it's usually been placed in other translations? --TheSinnerChrono 21:43, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
To clarify: I prefer putting "♪" and "☆" after other punctuation, because they affect the tone of the overall text (or, at least, I interpret them that way). I prefer to put tildes before other punctuation, because they affect the length of specific words. --TheSinnerChrono 21:59, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Interestingly, most placements of the ♪ I found when searching for it were without punctuation. If the only punctuation that would appear with the note would be a period, it is dropped. On stage 2 of this page there is a note following exclamation marks, so it would seem that the standard is to keep it after the punctuation. I don't know if the periods should be dropped, since that Japanese dialogue doesn't seem to have very many "。"'s, while this dialogue has it at (I think) every line that doesn't have some other punctuation.

And I see the "Netherworldly" was just added back. I believe you when you say らしい makes it an adverb, but that doesn't make sense with how it is in English. An adverb modifies an adjective, verb, or adverb, but it is clearly modifying the noun (sake). "Hmmmm... Netherworldly sake..."; there isn't even anything else in that sentence for it to modify but the noun!

Qazmlpok 22:48, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Japanese use of punctuation generally seems less strict than English. For example, a question might be ended with a period ("なんだ。曲者か。" = "Who are you calling a thief?"), and I've seen some games omit the period if it would come at the end of a paragraph. For now, at least, I'll just go ahead and add periods for the sake of consistency. (Even if it gets changed later, having it be consistent would help with find-and-replace.) --TheSinnerChrono 01:15, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Onomotopoeias: Sorry for not being consistent with them. I don't do everything at once so I forget how I did it from the previous session.

World 3: I just messed up the verb tense I guess. It should be 'go'. Also for Reisen's lines, I used a stronger command because she was having to repeat herself and I imagined she would be angrier having to do so. But I guess having her say it the same way twice is fine.

World 4: Yeah, that was a typo. Also, I didn't know if Marisa was directly referencing the game title or what, but I guess writing the title is OK.

World 6: I simply overlooked it. I'll get around to it soon.

Do we REALLY have to leave the puncuation verbatim?

And I was mistaken earlier, I meant adjective, not adverb. That's what I get for trying to translate while half-awake. Anyway, I think it should still be 'Netherworldly', because Marisa is using Netherworld as an adjective, rather than a possessive. I don't know why, I guess that's just her style.

NForza 01:26, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

-ly makes it an adverb. It needs to be an adjective; like "Japanese" from "Japan". I just asked and "Netherworldian" was suggested. How's that?

I don't know if punctuation should be exactly as it is in the original script. In some cases, e.g. "I-It's not like that?" - that's not a question. It shouldn't have a question mark.

Qazmlpok 02:21, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

'-ly' doesn't always make an adverb. How about 'manly' or 'girly'? Those are both adjectives. 'Netherworldian' sounds more awkward than 'Netherworldly' in my opinion.

Yeah, that's what I was saying about punctuation, but someone edited it back to more closely match the original, although I haven't seen any done incorrectly yet. I just thought it was a little picky.

Sorry if I was being too strict with some of the punctuation, but I'm used to hearing things like "It's not like that?" in informal contexts. You start out by stating that the other person is wrong, but then you become unsure, and use the same tone as in a question. Using a question mark for that certainly has its problems, but I think it's at least closer to conveying the message than an exclamation mark, which doesn't indicate any doubt. --TheSinnerChrono 03:22, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

That one line didn't quite strike me as being a question; neither questioning someone else (obviously) nor questioning herself (your explanation). Of course I can't read the original Japanese to see what kind of tone is implied there, nor am I very good at recognizing tone in English anyways. I had assumed that the question mark in the Japanese was dropped because of some nuance of the language.

For Netherworldian, it would appear that was a joke, so you can just ignore that suggestion. "Netherworldly" still sounds like it should be an adverb... but at least regardless of what is chosen it's clear what part of speech it's supposed to be.

Qazmlpok 03:31, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

You can run quickly but you can't run Netherworldly. Or maybe you can. I think this is pretty new territory here.

As for that one line with the question mark, I think that was just a mistake on my part. Either I meant to phrase it as a question or it was a typo. The original line was probably phrased as a question anyway, but it doesn't matter that much as long as the point gets across. NForza 04:31, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

All stage descriptions now fit. I'm still waiting on the last few images to get edited, since the guy who volunteered was on some sort of vacation. I also need to go through the storymode script and make sure that the latest changes haven't messed up the line breaks. Are you planning on doing another check on the script? I'd like to wait until you're completely satisfied with the script before I make sure everything fits.

And, for anyone interested in seeing the script in-game or helping with the QC, here's the script file and map files, edited. Just unzip it into the MariAri folder. Make sure you're using patch 1.11b and to backup script.bin, as the final patch will require the original files. Run _MariAri.exe or the fontsize for stage descriptions will be too big.

http://www.mediafire.com/?jkzzqjjghzt

Qazmlpok 17:34, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

I'm trying to find someone to check the script for me right now, and I probably won't be satisfied until someone does. Hopefully I'll be able to find someone soon.

NForza 00:47, 9 July 2009 (UTC)