Yukkuri shiteitte ne!
Revision as of 23:17, 3 July 2008 by Raymoo (New page: PAGE IN PROGRESS ==Physical Characteristics== *They consist of a grossly exaggerated head with hair and head accessories. *Normal ones are about the size and weight of a basketball. H...)
PAGE IN PROGRESS
- They consist of a grossly exaggerated head with hair and head accessories.
- Normal ones are about the size and weight of a basketball. However, they can grow to much larger sizes (the limit seems to be about human-sized). There are also fat ones which look similar to normal ones, but are slightly bigger and more bloated.
- They are filled with bean paste and therefore edible. Some variants have different fillings. For example, Remilia-types are meat buns.
- They breathe, eat, see, hear and move (by bouncing off the ground), yet they have nothing that resembles organs.
- They are extremely fragile. Severely injuring them is very easy. They seem to make up for it by having lots of stamina. A yukkuri can survive extreme amounts of trauma before dying. Examples include: having a large piece of its body bitten off, having most of its bean paste scooped out, getting all of its skin peeled off, getting impaled on a stick, etc.
- They are soluble in water, but only after prolonged exposure.
They have a crying moe. It causes people to abuse and bully them. Even good-natured humans can become sadists.
- Some of them have miniaturized bodies. It is not known whether they are mutated Touhous or mutated yukkuris. Examples include: Remilia-types, Flandre-types, Reisen-types, Tewi-types, Sikieiki-types, and possibly others that have yet to be discovered.
- The types that possess bodies are usually not born with them, but grow them after reaching a certain age. Whether the growth is instantaneous or gradual, and where they get their clothes, is unknown.
- A yukkuri’s main goal in life is to “take it easy”. It holds this above all other needs. It is easy to gain a yukkuri’s trust under the pretense of taking it easy. There are variant of “take it easy”; for example, Chen-types “get it”.
- They are incredibly selfish. They can and will attack and eat each other in dangerous or stressful situations.
- The other needs and goals of a yukkuri are (in order of descending importance): food, a home, companionship, and reproduction.
- They constantly demand food, particularly sweets, from anybody and everybody.
- They will often try to annex human homes. They will claim that the house belongs to them, and that the human should leave. This can be circumvented by asking permission from the yukkuris to take it easy with them. Then, the human can promptly eliminate the would-be invaders without suspicion.
- They always travel in pairs or groups. Villages of dozens of yukkuris are not uncommon. If they are left alone for too long, they will die of loneliness. Predator-type yukkuris such as Flandre-types and Remila-types seem to lack this weakness.
- The most important possession of any yukkuri is their accessory. Losing it prevents them from taking it easy and leaves them in a near catatonic state. They will go through any means to regain their accessory, not limited to stealing from other yukkuris. Therefore, accessory-less yukkuris are usually shunned by others. The act of stealing an accessory is not looked down upon, unless the accessory is stolen from a dead yukkuri. Stealing from a dead yukkuri is taboo and will result in the culprit being hunted down by its peers.
- Their intelligence and reasoning ability are virtually non-existent. They give a new meaning to the word “retarded”. However, it is possible to train a yukkuri, but the process is long, tedious, and slow. Yukkuris that are domesticated by humans tend to be much more intelligent than their wild kin. Some yukkuris are even more retarded than usual, namely Remilia-types.
- Their memory capacities are incredibly small; a yukkuri is incredibly forgetful. If you bully one, there’s a good chance it’ll forget about it within a few hours. There are examples where a single yukkuri eats its family and/or friends and then forgets about it.
- Their limited memory does have the benefit of aiding their social structure. Groups of yukkuris will think that they’ve been together forever since they can’t remember anything before the group was formed.
- They have the ability to speak, but are limited to childish phrases. Their vocabularies are surprisingly large and disproportionate to their intelligence.
- If a yukkuri becomes hungry or horny, it will eat/rape other yukkuris, promptly forget it did so, and blame the nearest living being. Shaking a yukkuri causes it to become horny.
- They all have an innate knowledge of several facts. For example, all yukkuris fear the “factory”, which is described as a place where they can never take it easy.
- Old yukkuris experience a change in personality. They become extremely sarcastic and frustrating to deal with. Upon being told that you will e.g. catch them, they will answer "He says he's going to catch me. Ooh, scary, scary."
- They retaliate against aggressors through tackling and goring. However, due to their extremely low speed, soft bodies, and low mass, the attacks are nothing, but nuisances. Some yukkuris have different defense mechanisms. For example, Iku-types are able to shoot lightning, making them a threat to yukkuri and human alike.
- Their offspring are called koyukkuris. Koyukkuris are easily distinguished from regular yukkuris by their small size and different facial features. However, their personalities and behavior are identical to their parents.
- They seem to be able to reproduce both sexually and asexually, the methods of each are still under argument. There are several theories.
- They may undergo a process similar to mitosis where one splits in half and the halves become individual yukkuris.
- They may produce children when they die. New yukkuris will crawl out of the remains of a dead one. The Wriggle-type is confirmed to reproduce by this method.
- In both methods of asexual reproduction, the children are identical to their parents.
- In sexual reproduction, one yukkuri will rub against and hump another. Intercourse between yukkuris is not always consensual, nor does it need to be. The Alice-type relies on rape to increase its numbers. The yukkuri on the bottom will become pregnant. Pregnancy may manifest in two ways.
- The first and most widely accepted method is that the pregnant yukkuri sprouts a tendril from its body. On the tendril are several undeveloped koyukkuris that will fall off the branch after development, a very fast process that only takes several hours.
- It is possible to sprout more than one tendril at a time. This can occur from either multiple bouts of intercourse or multiple partners during intercourse. The result can be deadly to the mother as the tendrils will leech the mother’s mass to feed the children.
- The second method of sexual reproduction has the mother inflating to many times its original size. This process takes a large amount of resources and time. When the mother is ready, it will burst, spitting out dozens of koyukkuris at once and returning the mother to its original size.
- This method is also not without risks. If the mother is allowed to grow too large, the birthing process will kill it.
- Koyukkuris are defenseless and extremely dependent on their parents. However, yukkuri parents are very irresponsible and incompetent. A mother will often accidentally leave behind or kill its children. Due to the mother’s stupidity, it is possible to feed its own children to it. The mother will not notice unless it is told that it ate its children, a fact that it’ll probably forget in a few hours. The children are largely the same; they can easily forget their mother’s identity and be manipulated to attack and eat their mother
- Sexual reproduction results in offspring that are identical to either the mother or “father” yukkuri. However, A yukkuri that had intercourse with an Alice-type will only give birth to more Alice-types.
Specific Species Facts
- Reimu-types and Marisa-types are the most commonly found types. They’re generally very carefree and naïve.
- Some Marisa-types have a hidden sadistic nature that makes them realize if they’re hurting their friends and enjoy it.
- Alice-types rely on other yukkuris to reproduce. They gain the trust of a pre-existing yukkuri village and secretly kill off the children. Then, the remaining yukkuris of the village are gangraped until they die from giving birth to more Alice-types.
- Chen-types jump much higher than regular yukkuris. They also prefer to “get it” rather than to take it easy.
- Remilia-types have the ability to fly and regenerate. They all see Sakuya as the solution for every problem they have and will often call out for her. Their favorite foods are sweet foods such as cookies and pudding. They have a habit of throwing non-sweet food onto the floor or in the nearest toilet, even if it wasn't intended for them.
- Flandre-types are bullies. The targets of their bullying are usually Remilia-types. They decorate the vicinity of their nests by impaling barely alive yukkuris on tree branches. They can attack with their wings
- Patchouli-types are asthmatic and physically weak. They can only say “mukyu”. They tend to be easier to train, and have a greater capacity for intelligence.
- Youmu-types are called “Myon” and are extraordinarily soft. They often shout "Chiiiiinpo!!!" ("Diiiiiick!!!"), embarrassing the real Youmu.
- Yuyuko-types are able to assimilate features from the yukkuris they eat. For example, eating a Remilia-type will give a Yuyuko-type wings. They can also rip off the assimilated feature to create a copy of the consumed yukkuri that is completely loyal to the Yuyuko-type. They also have the ability to suck in air, also sucking in everything in the vicinity. They can swallow a Remirya whole using this ability.
- Tewi-types are the most intelligent yukkuris. They are extremely deceptive and tricky.
- Reisen-types can only say “gera gera”. This trait causes it to anger people as “gera gera” is onomatopoeia for derisive laughter.
- Iku-types can shoot lightning, making them the most formidable yukkuris.
- Wriggle-types are smaller than regular yukkuris and serve as the decomposers of the yukkuri trophic chain.
- Despair makes a yukkuri’s bean paste sweeter.
- Anything they eat will be converted into bean paste.
- A yukkuri’s accessory is present from birth and grow along with the yukkuri itself.
- Putting a yukkuri on your head turns you into a yukkuri. Luckily, the process is perfectly safe and reversible by tearing the yukkuri apart, revealing the person inside-Putting your hand over a yukkuri’s eyes will make it think it’s night.
- It’s possible to fuse a yukkuri with a plant, so that the yukkuri only requires sunlight and water to live.
- Stealing a yukkuri’s accessory will cause every yukkuri in the world to chase you.
- Red yukkuris take it easy three times faster and taste salty. They also superfuck (3x more fucking) other yukkuris.
- The phrase “yukkuri shiteitte ne” can also mean “take it slowly”. This plays a vital role in many of the jokes.
- Even the simplest traps (a box) are too much for a Yukkuri to escape.