Alternative Facts in Eastern Utopia/Article and Interview/Three Tengu

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Header[edit]

Page 70-71
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AFiEUTenguRestingWings.jpg
天狗が羽を
休めたら。
When the Tengu Rest Their Wings
←こちら側からはさみ等で丁寧に開封してください ←Carefully open from the side with a pair of scissors, etc.

Artwork by Nyanya[edit]

Meeting[edit]

AFiEUThreeTenguMeeting.jpg
緊急開催! 覆面天狗座談会
Urgent Meeting! Anonymous Tengu hold a Symposium

有志3名が匿名と覆面を
条件に、激白三昧!!

The three volunteers, on the conditions of anonymity and concealed faces,
speak candidly and freely!!

本誌特別企画の袋綴じ内では、日ごろの対立は水に流すノーサイドの
精神のもと、天狗社会をより良くする為の忌憚のない交流会が開かれた。
匿名と覆面を条件に参加してくれた3名の有志による激白を見よ!
In this issue's special sealed pages, putting everyday disputes and competitions aside, they held a frank discussion for the betterment of the Tengu society. Let's see sincere thoughts of the three who volunteered on the conditions that they remain anonymous and their faces concealed!

天狗社会の
腐敗を暴く!

Expose the corruption in the tengu society!

Crow Tengu A
(A below)

本日は是非とも無礼講でいこうじゃありませんか。

How about we go all out with no holds barred today?

Crow Tengu B
(B below)

はいはーい。もちろん来たからには、あんたも言いたいことあるんでしょ?

Yeah, right. And since you came over, you must've got something to say as well, right?

White Wolf Tengu C
(C below)

え、ええ。でも、こんなことして大天狗様たちや天魔様に見つかったら、明日からもう山では生きていけません……。

Eh? Y-yeah... But still, if a Great Tengu or Tenma-sama finds out about this, we can kiss Youkai Mountain goodbye after tomorrow.

B

だいじょぶだいじょぶ(棒読み)。天狗の新聞だってたくさんあるし、こんなとこまで偉い人は見てないって。

Nah, don't worry about that (monotone). There are so many different Tengu newspapers; the big shots will never get to see this one.

A

こんなとことはまた失敬ですね。それよりまずは私たちが悩んでいる問題です。私としては、まずはアレから言わせてもらいますよ。

Well, if that doesn't sound rude? That said, we have bigger things to worry about anyway. So why don't we start from the beginning?

長時間労働問題

Long Work Hours Issue

B

わかるー。なんかほんと、仕事が山積みっていうかさ。山だけに? でもほんとなんだろうね。とにかく量が多い仕事をいきなり押し付けられて、明日朝までに提出しろーとか言われても。こっちは優雅なシエスタの途中だってのに。

I know! I mean, like, we get mountains of work to do. 'Cause we're on a mountain? But no, seriously. Huge loads of work might get suddenly forced on us, and we are told they have to be submitted by tomorrow morning. Right during my graceful siesta even!

A

私のように優秀な天狗の所へたくさんの仕事が舞い込むのは仕方ないんですが、それにしたって多すぎです。最近は外の世界では、定時退社とかプレミアムフライデーだとか言って労働時間を減らす風潮らしいですよ? 天狗の社会はなんて遅れているんでしょう。

For an excellent Tengu like me, getting piled up in work on the drop of a note is inevitable, but this is just too much. Apparently, the current trend in the outside world is reducing work hours with things like regular time leave or "Premium Friday"[1] or something. The Tengu society is way overdue with that.

B

あー、それ私のネタじゃん! このあいだも命蓮寺でさー。

Oh, that's my writing material! Just the other day at the Myouren Temple-...

A

(Bの口をふさいで)それは私が記事にするから黙っててください。それより長時間労働ですよ。私なんて今年になってから、一週間以上の長期休暇が殆ど取れないのよ? これじゃあ、どうやって遊びに行ったり花を楽しんだり酒を楽しんだり出来るのよ。

(Blocks B's mouth) You be quiet please, that's my article to write. Anyway, back to long work hours. In my case, from this year, I could almost never get vacations longer than one week. Like that, how am I supposed to go on a trip, enjoy the flowers, or have a little drink?

B

私の邪魔をしてくれたうえに労働自慢って、ほんとダメダメね。だいたいずっと働いてるってことは、単に自分の仕事を終えられないってことじゃない。そんなの「私は仕事が遅いんですー、全然終わらせられんないんですー、ちゃんとできないんですー」って言ってるのと同じことよ? だっさ。

Bragging about work after bothering me? Oh no, you don't. Aren't people who are working all the time just unable to finish their own work? Isn't that the same as "My work is going so slooow, I can't get anything done at aaall, this is impossibleeee."? How lame.)

A

言ったわね! ふだん家から一歩も出ないで腐った苔みたいな生活してるくせに! あんたみたいに社会に役に立とうとしない奴が居るおかげで、そういう奴らの分まで私らが働かなきゃなんないのよ。もっと感謝の気持ちを持って欲しいもんだわ!

Say what! When you don't take a single step out of your usual habitat, living like a rotten moss! Thanks to guys like you who don't try to contribute to society, we have to do their share of work as well. You should be more grateful!

B

なにをー? 万年落ちこぼれ天狗がえっらそうに!

Hey, whaat? You're acting pretty high 'n mighty for a 10,000 year old failure of a Tengu!

C

ま、まあまあお二人とも。それでも烏天狗の皆さんはいいですよね、山の外に出かけられて。私たち下っ端は基本的に山でしか仕事をしたらいけませんし。

No-, now now, calm down you two. You crow tengu still have it nice, since you can leave the mountain. Us lower ranks basically aren't allowed to work outside the mountain.

規則のための規則問題

"Rules for Rules' Sake" Issue

C

私たちも仕事量にはうんざりしてますけど、特に意味もなさそうな見回りとか、偉い人の警備とかさせられて、なんでこれやってるんだろうって。偉い人なんて私たち一般の天狗なんかよりずっと強いんだから、警備の必要がまるっきり無さそうなのに。

We're also fed up with the huge work load, especially the meaningless patrolling or making us defend the big wigs. What is the point even? I mean, the higher ups are so much stronger than the average tengu like us, so why do they even need protection?

B

偉い人は周囲に自分が偉い人だぞってアピールしたがるからねー。

Because big shots loove showing off to everyone that they are big shots.

A

上下関係をはっきりさせるのも組織の維持には必要とはいえ、無駄が多いのは困りものです。

While keeping the hierarchy clear may be necessary to maintain an organization, it is worrying that there are so much uselessness.

B

無駄っていうか、見栄? そういう奴に限って規則にうるさいのよね

Useless... or rather, vain? It's only guys like that who never shut up about rules.

A

それに組織が大きくなれば、その分だけ規則が必要になってきますけれど、増えすぎると「規則を守るかどうかを監視するのが仕事の人」みたいなのが出てきて、本当に無駄。一体自分たちは何をしてるだろうって疑問に思わないのかしら。

When an organization grows, more rules become necessary as well, but when those get out of hand, we get "watchdogs whose job is to ensure that rules are being kept", which is truly useless. Do they ever stop and ask themselves, "What are we even doing here?"

B

わかる! その決まりを守らなかったら誰が困るの? みたいなのがほんと多くってさ。実際現場で働いてるのは誰だと思ってるのよ。

Yeah, right? "Who even cares when those rules are broken?" That's what most people who have to go out there and work think.

A・C

あんた(貴方)は現場に出てないでしょ(ですよね)。この引き籠り!

But you (ma'am) don't (do not) even work outside, you shut-in![2]

Notes[edit]

  1. On Premium Friday, employees are recommended to leave on 15:00 every last Friday in the month, to promote consumer spending.
  2. The words in parentheses are just a bit more formal, presumably spoken by Momiji, who is lower than Hatate in tengu hierarchy.