Alternative Facts in Eastern Utopia/Essay/Rinnosuke Morichika

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Page 124-125
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霖之助Presents
無用の最新道具
Part1タブレット

Rinnosuke Presents

Useless Modern Tools

Part 1: Tablet

香霖堂店主・森近霖之助氏がその能力をフルに使って最新アイテムを紹介! Kourindou shopkeeper Rinnosuke Morichika uses his abilities to showcase the latest items!
「スマホ」という名前の、主に黒色が多い文鎮は一部の外来品マニアの中では有名だが、今回紹介するのはそのスマホの大型版、「タブレット」だ。 The paperweight with a primarily black color known as the "smartphone" is popular among outside goods maniacs, but the product I would like to showcase today is the large-scale version of the smarphone: the "tablet".
このタブレット、スマホよりは重さがあるのだが、文鎮としては大きすぎて使いづらい。僕の能力を以ってすれば、タブレットの使い道は「画面サイズの平面だけで出来ることは、大抵再現出来る道具」だと判るのだが、幻想郷では何故かどうやっても唯の黒い板にしかならないので、独自の使い道を考えたい。 While the tablet is heavier than the smartphone, its size makes it harder to use as a paperweight. Through my ability, I can understand that the purpose of the tablet is "a tool that can represent most things that can be represented with a surface of the screen size", but in Gensokyo, no matter what I do, it doesn't seem to be anything more than just a black plank, so I wanted to know more about its original purpose.
そこで投げてみることにした。スマホを投げた時と異なり、大きさと重さが相まって、回転と飛距離が伸びた。これは殺傷能力があるレベルと考えると、手裏剣のような武器としても使えるだろう。 And so I tried throwing it. Compared to throwing the smartphone, the tablet was able to reach a greater distance and more revolutions due to its size and weight. If you think of it as having injurious capabilities, it could potentially be used as a shuriken.
また、食器として使用してみた。果物を置いてみたところ、光沢のある黒色が食材を際立たせ、なんともモダンな平皿となった。これもお勧めである。 Then, I tried using it as tableware. When I placed some fruit on it, the reflective black surface made the fruit stand out, giving off the feel of a modern flat dish. I would also recommend this.
更に、光沢を活かして鏡としても使えるだろう。黒っぽく反射するので、シミや汚れが気にならなくなるかも知れない。 Furthermore, one could make good use of its reflection by using it as a mirror. Because it gives a darker reflection, it may make you less concerned about stains and dirt.
他にも、小さめの座布団、書きづらい黒板、ソリ、鍋敷き、漬物石など……、確かに、このサイズの平面だけで出来る事は、大抵再現出来る道具だった。 Other options could include a small kneeling cushion, a blackboard that is hard to write on, a sled, a pot stand, a weight stone... Certainly, with a surface of this size, it is a tool that can represent many things.
こんなタブレットだが、最近は結構な量が入荷している。幻想郷に流れ着く道具というのは、外の世界で殆ど使われなくなった道具なのだが、以外と最新道具と言うのも、手に入りやすい。その理由は型落ち、らしい。外の世界では同じ道具を使い続けたり、リサイクルするという発想が余り無いようで、リサイクルするという発想が余り無いようで、新しい道具が出ると、内容は殆ど変わらないのに買い換えてしまうそうだ。特に、スマホやタブレットにはその傾向が多い。 Though it is a tablet like this, I have recently been able to find a large number of them. The fact that they have drifted into Gensokyo means that they are tools that have almost completely fallen out of use in the outside world, so despite it being one of the latest products, it is easy to get your hands on one. Apparently, the reason seems to be that the model is outdated. The outside world does not appear to have the concept of recycling and reusing the same products, so when a new model comes out, people will replace their old models, even when the function is almost exactly the same. In particular, this trend is common for smartphones and tablets.
まあそのお陰で、香霖堂の品数も増える。万能平面であるタブレットは、今がお買い得です。 Well, thanks to that, the number of goods in Kourindou increases as well. If you want all-purpose flat-surface tablets, they're a bargain right now.

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