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Talk:Concealed the Conclusion/Story/Endings

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Suggestions of translation changes:


Third ending ( 2013-01-09 ):

  • 「お、居た居た」

Original: "And then...there was nothing."

Suggestion: "Ah, it was there"


  • 「そうなんだ……さびしくなるね」

Original: "That's right... I became lonely."

Suggestion: "Really, I'll become lonely"


  • 「夜な夜な……うなされてたんだよ?」

Original: "You mean that... Every night, I was delirious?"

Suggestion: "You were having nightmares every night?"


  • 「……ごめんね、余り人に聞かせたくないの」

Original: "I did not speak of this... Forgive me."

Suggestion: ".. Sorry, I don't want talk about this"


  • 「うん、お元気で」

Original: "Yeah, fine."

Suggestion: "Okay, good luck for you (I am of good cheer?)"


  • 「!……待って!……魔理沙?」

Original: "I've been waiting for you! Marisa?"

Suggestion: "Wait!.... Marisa?"


  • 「……そうやってあんまり一人で 抱え込むなよ?れ・い・む?」

Original: "You sit alone, not doing so. Are you not including me?"

Suggestion: "This way you don't need to endure all so alone, right? Re-i-mu?"


  • 「魔理沙!……生きてたんだ……よかった」

Original: "Marisa! I'm alive... Good."

Suggestion: "Marisa! ...you're alive... I am so glad"


  • 「うん……霊夢こそ」

Original: "Yeah, Reimu. You are."

Suggestion: "Yeah, ...you too Reimu."


  • 「…結局、私たちだけが残っちゃったみたいだね」

Original: "But we seemed so after all, didn't we?"

Suggestion: "... It seems that only us remained after all, doesn't it?"


  • 「そうね、結局はみんな夢だったわけだし」

Original: "So, eventually everyone was dreaming."

Suggestion: "That is right, after all everyone was a dream."


  • 「聞いちゃったんだ、 幻想郷の思い出を私に全て託すって」

Original: "Back then, I commited the memories of Gensokyo to me."

Suggestion: " I heard they saying that they entrust all the memories of Gensokyo to me'


  • 「ホントは辛かったの……私が生きる為に 皆を消していくのが」

Original: "It was really hard! I lived off all of that."

Suggestion: "It was really painful, everybody disappeared to let me live."


  • 「前向きに考えな。皆は私たちを 生かすために動いてくれたんだ」

Original: "It is positively useful. We who have worked for us all."

Suggestion: "Think positive, everybody worked to let us live."


  • 「結局生きても死んでも 朽ちる運命だった夢の楽園。 きっといつまでも忘れることはないよ。 だから……みんな今までありがとう。」

Original: "A paradise of dreams that seemed doomed after all the living and the dead decayed with corruption. I'm sure you and I will never forget it and where it is from. Thanks for everything, guys."

Suggestion: "Eventually living or dying, it was a dream paradise destined to rot I'm sure that it'll never be forgotten. Because of this, thanks for all everybody."


Second ending ( 2012-10-09 ):

  • まるでパズルのピースのように分解されて 宙へ昇っていく。鳥居も、木々も、地面も。 その向こうには……なにも無かった。

Original: "Broken like the pieces of a puzzle. It rose into the air, the trees, and the ground. You didn't have anything beyond that."

Suggestion: "It disintegrated and ascended to the sky like pieces of a puzzle. So did the birds, the trees and the soil too. In that direction all things

disappeared."


  • 「魔理沙……今まで言えなかったけど、 ずっと魔理沙のことが好きだったの」

Original: "That Marisa... I couldn't say for sure, but I had liked that Marisa."

Suggestion: "Marisa, I didn't say anything until now, but, I always loved you."


  • 「ゴメンな、私は……勿論アリスも 友達として大好きだったぜ」

Original: "I was really sorry... I had loved Alice as a friend!"

Suggestion: "Sorry, Obviously I... loved you too, as a friend."


  • 「いいのよもう全部分かっていたし。 さぁ……みんなも来ているわ」

Original: "And I know it's all fine. And now...Everyone is coming back!"

Suggestion: "It's fine, I understood everything. Well, everybody is coming."


  • 「今から、私たち最期の力を以って あなたをこの世界の外に飛ばすわね」

Original: "From now on, our tale Will fly you out of this world!"

Suggestion: "From now we'll send you out of this world with our last forces, ok?"


  • 「は?何それそんなの聞いてないぜ!」

Original: "It is? So that's why you haven't heard!"

Suggestion: "Ahhh? Why you didn't let me know this!"


  • 「そう言うと思って今の今まで黙ってたのよ」

Original: "That's what I said. He kept silent until now."

Suggestion: "I planned to say this only now, because of this I was silent until now." (???)


  • 「いやだよ!そんな私だけ 生き得したってうれしくない! お前たちも来れないなら私も行かない!」

Original: "No way! I was just living a life that I could be pleased with! I won't go if I can't come with you guys too!" Suggestion: "Noo, I won't be happy if only I survive, I won't go if you guys don't come too."


  • 「もう、何も喋らないでいいから……」

Original: "Not from anything, anymore, doing nothing but speak these nice words..."

Suggestion: "Please don't say anything more..."


  • 「そんな、嫌だ!嫌だよ!」

Original: "I hate it so much! Hate it!"

Suggestion: "Noo, I don't want this way!"


  • 幻想郷は、一人の少女が永い眠りの 間に創り出した、夢の世界だった。

Original: "Gensokyo was the result of a girl's deep sleep. It was created between that Border of Dreams and Reality."

Suggestion: "Gensokyo was created during a long sleep of a girl, a world of dreams."


  • 彼女が夢を見ることをやめると 同時に全ては無の中へ消えていった。

Original: "The looks to the dream to not give up. But all this time, it had disappeared into nothingness."

Suggestion: "At the same time that she stopped to dream, everything disappeared to the nothing."


First ending:


  • 最終弾幕決闘をしているつもりだったのに 気づけば彼女は自室のベッドで眠っていた。

Original: "It was supposed to be a final duel of danmaku She was sleeping in the bed."

Suggestion: "It was supposed to be a final duel of danmaku, but when she noticed she was sleeping in the her bedroom."


  • 「そうね、そもそも魔法とかが普通に在る 時点でおかしいと思うべきだったのよ」

Original: "You're right, I should have thought. It was funny at the time which usually lies in the first place or the magic."

Suggestion: "That's right, I should have thought that something is strange at the same time when I realized that things like magic are common there."


  • 「幻想郷なんてただの夢の世界なんだって」

Original: "Gensokyo was just a dream."

Suggestion: "Gensokyo was just a dream world."


  • 「もう一度……眠れば幻想郷の夢、見れるかな」

Original: "Dreams of Gensokyo, how can you see it again...but by sleeping."

Suggestion: "I wonder if I'll be able to see the dreams of Gensokyo if I sleep one more time."


  • 「おーいっ、遅刻しちゃうよー 早くガッコ行こー」

Original: "Hey, soon I went Gakko~ But you would be late."

Suggestion: "Hey, we'll get late, lets go to the school fast"


  • 「あ……うんー ゴメン待ってて今着替えるから~」

Original: "Oh yeah...sorry. But I'm waiting to get dressed now~"

Suggestion: "Aah, ok... sorry. Just wait me change my clothes."


  • その悲しき記憶もやがてただの 夢としての認識しかなくなり風化し、 真に幻想となっていくだろう。

Original: "They recognized it as nothing but a dream Just fantastic memories that will one day go and truly become fantastic."

Suggestion: "Eventually even these sad memories become nothing but a forgotten dream. Indeed, it seems that it'll become only illusions."


Extension: Translation Suggestions Edits (12/19/12) It's been a while since I've gotten to this. I've edited the great suggestions to make them better, at least in my opinion. Hopefully me, or someone else, implements these. I'll get to them when I have the time.


Second Ending

Suggestion: "It disintegrated and ascended to the sky like pieces of a puzzle. So did the birds, the trees and the soil too. In that direction all things disappeared."

Edit: "It disintegrated and ascended to the sky like pieces of a puzzle. So did the birds, the trees, and the soil too. In that way all things disappeared."


Suggestion: "Marisa, I didn't say anything until now, but, I always loved you."

Edit: "Marisa, I hadn't said anything up until now, but I had always loved you."


Suggestion: "Sorry, Obviously I... loved you too, as a friend."

Edit: "Sorry... but I obviously loved you too, as a friend."


Suggestion: "It's fine, I understood everything. Well, everybody is coming."

Edit: "It's alright, I understood everything. Well, everybody is coming."


Suggestion: "From now we'll send you out of this world with our last forces, ok?"

Edit: "From now, we'll use this force to send you out of this world, ok?"


Suggestion: "Ahhh? Why you didn't let me know this!"

Edit: "Ahhh? Why didn't let me know of this?!"

Alt Edit: "Ahhh? Why didn't you let me know about this?!"


Suggestion: "I planned to say this only now, because of this I was silent until now."

Edit: "I planned to say this now, but because of this I stayed silent."


Suggestion: "Noo, I won't be happy if only I survive, I won't go if you guys don't come too."

Edit: "No, if only I survive, I'll never be happy. I won't go if you guys don't come, too."


Suggestion: "Please don't say anything more..."

Edit: "Please don't say anything else..."


Suggestion: "Noo, I don't want this way!"

Edit: "Noo, I don't want it to be like this!"

Alt Edit: "Noo, I don't want it to be this way!"


Suggestion: "Gensokyo was created during a long sleep of a girl, a world of dreams."

Edit: "Gensokyo was a world of dreams, created during the long sleep of a girl."

Alt Edit: "Gensokyo was created as a result of a girl's long sleep, a world of dreams."

Alt Edit 2: "Gensokyo was created during a girl's deep sleep, a world of dreams."


Suggestion: "At the same time that she stopped to dream, everything disappeared to the nothing."

Edit: "When she stopped dreaming, everything disappeared."

Alt Edit: "When she had stopped dreaming, everything disappeared into nothing."


First Ending

Suggestion: "It was supposed to be a final duel of danmaku, but when she noticed she was sleeping in the her bedroom."

Edit: "It was supposed to be a final duel of danmaku, but when she noticed she was sleeping in her bedroom."


Suggestion: "That's right, I should have thought that something is strange at the same time when I realized that things like magic are common there."

Edit: "That's right, I should have thought that something was strange when I realized that things like magic were common."


Suggestion: "Gensokyo was just a dream world."

Edit: "Gensokyo was just a world of dreams."

Alt Edit: "Gensokyo was only a dream world."


Suggestion: "I wonder if I'll be able to see the dreams of Gensokyo if I sleep one more time."

Edit: "I wonder if I'll be able to see Gensokyo if I sleep again."

Alt Edit: "I wonder if I'll be able to see the dreams of Gensokyo if I sleep once again."


Suggestion: "Hey, we'll get late, lets go to the school fast"

Edit: "Hey, we'll be late! Let's get to school quickly."


Suggestion: "Aah, ok... sorry. Just wait me change my clothes."

Edit: "Oh, sorry... Just let me change my clothes."


Suggestion: "Eventually even these sad memories become nothing but a forgotten dream. Indeed, it seems that it'll become only illusions."

Edit: "Eventually even these sad memories faded to a forgotten dream. Indeed, it seemed as if they were only illusions."


Please look over these edits, and I apologize for such a late response. Lukesky180 (talk) 22:44, 19 December 2012 (EST)


Ending 3

I redid the translation for this from scratch, since I really didn't like what was up there. No offense to the person who did the last translation intended, it's just how I do things.

「お、居た居た」 "Ah, there she is."
「誰?
……あぁ、隣のベッドの」
"Who...?
Oh, the girl from the next bed over."
「私、今日退院なんだ」 "It seems I'm being discharged today."
「そうなんだ……さびしくなるね」 "Is that so...It's going to be lonely here, huh?"
「ねぇ、キミの言ってた夢の話、
小耳に挟んだんだけどちょっと聞かせてよ」
"Hey, about that dream you were talking about,
I overheard a little, but could you tell me more?"
「えっ?」 "Eh?"
「夜な夜な……うなされてたんだよ?」 "Every night...you were having nightmares, right?"
「……ごめんね、余り人に聞かせたくないの」 "...sorry, I don't really want to talk about it."
「そっか……残念だね」 "I see... That's too bad."
「じゃ、私そろそろ支度しなきゃ」 "Well, I suppose I should start getting ready."
「うん、お元気で」 "Yeah. Take care of yourself."
「……お前こそ。
幻想郷で一緒に居られて最高だったぜ!」
"...you too.
Being together in Gensokyo was the best!"
「!……待って!……魔理沙?」 "...! Wait! Marisa?"
「……そうやってあんまり一人で
抱え込むなよ?れ・い・む?」
"Don't try and bear everything
yourself so much, ok? Re~i~mu?"
「魔理沙!……生きてたんだ……よかった」 "Marisa! You survived! Thank goodness..."
「うん……霊夢こそ」 "Yeah. I'm glad you survived too."
「…結局、私たちだけが残っちゃったみたいだね」 "It seems in the end, we are the only two who are left."
「そうね、結局はみんな夢だったわけだし」 "Yeah, it seems in the end that everyone was just a dream."
「聞いちゃったんだ、
幻想郷の思い出を私に全て託すって」
"They asked me
to be entrusted with all the memories of Gensokyo."
「ホントは辛かったの……私が生きる為に
皆を消していくのが」
"It's really painful...
everyone disappearing so that I could live."
「前向きに考えな。皆は私たちを
生かすために動いてくれたんだ」
"Just face forward and don't think about it.
Everyone acted so that we could live."
「……そうね」 "...that's right."
「結局生きても死んでも
朽ちる運命だった夢の楽園。
きっといつまでも忘れることはないよ。
だから……みんな今までありがとう。」
"Whether living or dead,
that paradise which was destined to rot will never be forgotten.
Therefore, thank you for everything you've done for us."
ENDING - 3 ENDING 3

TwilightsCall (talk) 09:00, 9 January 2013 (EST)