Talk:Embodiment of Scarlet Devil/Story/Prologue
These are the changes that I have made in EoSD prologue. If anybody finds the original way more appropriate, please let me know.
- Gensokyo was leading days more noisy than expected. ---> Every day in Gensokyo was more noisy than expected.
I had no idea what "leading days" was supposed to mean so I changed the sentence to be clearer.
- A mysterious visitor would have thought that even the ghosts of summertime were in a state of bewilderment. ---> Any mysterious visitor would be confused with a ghost of summertime.
I'm not sure which is correct. Visitor is confused for ghost or the ghost is confused?
- Scarlet-colored ===> Scarlet
- A place called Gensokyo. ---> Thus the place is called Gensokyo.
- The target was the flat surface of the mysterious mist. ---> With her body surrounded by the mysterious mist.
The original doesn't seem to tell anything about "target" or "surface" at all.
- A normal human would only survive for about 30 minutes in that fog... ---> This mysterious energy was so strong that a normal human would only survive for about 30 minutes...
The Japanese transcription focuses on the 妖気, which I translate as energy because that's what also in other places.
- Well, even humans create... ---> Well, humans usually create...
- And all "fog" is changed to "mist" for consistency throughout the wiki.