Talk:Embodiment of Scarlet Devil/Story/Reimu's Scenario

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Another revision[edit]

I'm pretty sure we really don't need yet another revision. At this rate it'll be an endless cycle.

Teruterubouzu 00:19, 1 February 2006 (PST)

Well, the general consensus seemed to be against what we had currently, and we need to have something to use for the final patch. I say we let 68.161.28.240 have a go at it and see what they come up with. -JSeabolt
If that's the case, can't be helped. But what I'm more concerned about is how long this is going to go on for. I hope we can find a script we can all agree on and settle for, instead of constantly chipping away at it. Teruterubouzu 01:15, 1 February 2006 (PST)

BGM translations[edit]

Those missing BGM translations would be nice to have...

Also, Vuwal? Vuwaru? Anyone have any ideas on that Stage 4 Title?

--Leviathean

ヴワル, if converted to vwal, sounds like the pronunciation of the French-derived word voile. It means a veil or semitransparent fabric of some sort; possibly made into a dress or a curtain. Maybe it's poking fun at the librarian's tendency to wear a nightgown all the time?

--Deciare 15:42, 13 May 2005 (PDT)

Pictures on page[edit]

Hopefully, the pictures are okay the way they are? Suggestions are welcome. Also, it's not needed for others to start take corresponding screenshots of PCB or IN, I've done that already. They're just not uploaded yet.

--Leviathean 21:35, 23 May 2005 (PDT)

One of Cirno's lines[edit]

Could someone please explain Cirno's comment about "英吉利牛", as also referenced in Touhou Tan-i Nintei Kyoukai? -Winane 00:23, 21 March 2008 (PDT)

This site seems to imply that it is BSE related. A kind of "just go and die in Mad Cow Disease" perhaps? Tyle 02:19, 21 March 2008 (PDT)

Reversions[edit]

Some points of my last edit were reverted. Of course most of them is maybe correct, but I don't understand some of them.

  • 1. それに外から見たときこんなに広かったっけ?

And it really looked from the outside so big as it is? --> And did it really look this big from the outside? "This" is a determiner, so it talks the distance to the noun which modifies after it. But this "this" doesn't have any noun after itself. May we say "I don't know Cirno is this cute"? I think "こんなに広い" means "very large to the extent that I'm feeling it". Or does oral English allow this usage?

  • 2. だから鳥目じゃないって(Reimu to Patchouli)
  • Don't make me say again! Never am I! --> I'm telling you, I don't either!

I think the former half is very good, reasonable. But not the last. "Either" could follow a phrase "A or B". What are "A" & "B" in this case?

  • 3. 霧の出しすぎで困る (Reimu to Patchouli)
  • She is spreading too much mist, and it's a problem. --> There's too much mist spreading, and it's a problem.

This isn't "出すぎ" but "出しすぎ". Then does this phrase need a spreader, Remilia, as subject?

  • 4. あー、お掃除が進まない! (Sakuya to herself)
  • Aah, cleaning doesn't go at all! --> Aah, the cleaning never ends!

"進む" means "go, go forward to". I think the latter sentence is "お掃除が終わらない!" Cleaning cannot end without going. お掃除は進まずに終わる事はない.

  • 5. 短絡ね。しかも理由が分からない (Remilia to Reimu)
  • How simple. Besides it's not clear why you said it. --> How simple. And you don't even understand why.

I got this phrase as "Reimu's phrase is too short or simple for Remilia to understand it". I think we can translate like the latter edited sentence if the original is "短絡ね。しかも理由が分かってない". And if the subject of the 2nd sentence is Reimu, it's odd that Reimu said "霧の出しすぎで困る" to Patchouli, because Reimu has come to the Mansion so as to stop Remilia spreading the mist. "短絡" should show that Reimu's thought was developing short-minded, and that her explanation lacks a lot of words.

  • 6. こんなに月も紅いから (Remilia to Reimu)
  • Tonight the moon is so red, --> The moon is red tonight,

"こんなに" shows how red the moon is. But the latter translation lacks the counterpart of "こんなに". Even if the former translation is tricky, we shouldn't miss the word & should have the sentence better. I know my English is poor & sometimes weird. But those points I can't understand. Please, if there is a kind person, can you give me a helping hand? --Masuo64 07:17, 8 December 2008 (UTC)

English is a very complicated language, with a lot of special rules. The shades of meaning in words are very different from Japanese, too. I don't know if these explanations will help at all...
  • 1. "This" is equivalent to "konna" in this case. In english, "this" is similar in use to "kore" "kono" and "konna." "I didn't know Cirno is this cute" is OK english.
  • 2. In this case, ending the sentence with "either" implies "watashi mo- -nai." It's not a direct translation, but it fits the implied meaning from the original.
  • 3. This one is implied, too. The earlier sentence refers to "お嬢様" so Reimu's sentence implies Ojou sama is the spreader.
  • 4. In english, "doesn't go" would mean "行きません" "never ends" is the same as "endless." The direct translation would be "Ah, I can't make any progress with the cleaning." "Never ends" is used because it is more concise, although not as direct a translation.
  • 5. Actually, your translation seems to be correct. Hmm... Although, to put it more clearly, it would be "How direct. And I don't see why."
  • 6. Yeah, it should be "The moon is so red tonight" or "Tonight, the moon is so red." Oreng3 10:20, 8 December 2008 (UTC)
Thanx for your advice & removing one R, Oreng3, a very kind person. Almost all of your explanation makes me understand, some of them persuaded me. But it's a shame; I still have some doubts.
  • About 2. You said: it fits the implied meaning from the original. It's sure that just before it Patchouli said she'd not a night blindness. But Reimu's phrase "だから~" shows her irritated feeling to be told that again & her repeting the phrase which already said. Like this:
「やあ、チルノちゃん!今日も可愛いね!」「だから~、可愛いじゃなくて最強なのっ!馬鹿にしないでよっ!」
"Hey Cirno! You're very cute also today!" "I've told many, many times, I'm not cute but the strongest! I'm not an idiot!"
This example tells us the former is always saying it. So her message of objection to Patchouli must be the same as before; to Rumia. My interpretation is that she only rejected herself being night blindness & that she didn't have the gentle mind to mention the magician's "unlike you". This is opinion for 2.
  • About 3. The subject of "出しすぎ" is the spreader. If "出しすぎ" were "出すぎ", then the subject of it is what was spread. So Reimu said "出しすぎ" in order to make it clear that Remilia had spread mist, or Reimu was annoyed. In this case, using the transitive "出しすぎ" except the intransitive "出すぎ" is more intensive, which would be the same as in English, I think.
  • About 4. Imagine this situation: Sakuya is cleaning now. The mistress comes to her & asks her to play with the chief maid, a fairy maid calls her to say the sis of the mistress got wild, and Meiling rings her up with a friendly smile in order to ask what fashion is going to be popular. Sakuya can't go to the next room to clean it while she wants it! Finally Sakuya says angrily "お掃除が進まない!" It means that cleaning can't go to the next step. If it's "お掃除が終わらない!" it means that she can't see the goal of cleaning. Of course it can mean stopping her hands in cleaning, but this phrase usually shows the goal is much far though she's doing her best, since it's more natural to say "進まない" when she fails to end something while her cleaning doesn't go to the next step.
These are my opinion. What do you think about it? My interpretation is still Japanized for people with good English sense?
  • For 2, I think "Don't make me say it again" would be overkill: putting a long and relatively uncommon phrase in English in place of a short and (I think) common phrase in Japanese. Just "I'm telling you" conveys the idea that this is something she has said before, as well as the fact that she's irritated about having to repeat herself.
  • I'm not sure about 3 since I'm not very good with grammar, but I suspect you're right. I think what's throwing people off is that it's "霧の出しすぎ", making the implied subject less obvious. If it were "霧を出しすぎ" or just "出しすぎ", it would be obvious that the implied subject is "お嬢様".
  • As for 4, the most direct translation of "進む" into English is "to progress"; the most literal translation here is "Ah, the cleaning isn't progressing!". A more idiomatic (and, in my opinion, better) translation would be "Ah, the cleaning isn't getting anywhere!" Notice that this is a lot closer to your translation, just changing the verb to a more natural one.
  • (What's more, in some cases, you could replace "getting anywhere" with "going anywhere" to use your verb. We can't do that in this case, though, because "the cleaning isn't going anywhere" is *another* idiom meaning, literally, "the cleaning won't leave", or less literally, "I can stop cleaning, do something, and come back to the cleaning later without any problems", which is more or less the opposite of what Sakuya wants to do here.)
Hope this helps! -- glasnost0 06:26, 10 December 2008 (UTC)
Yikes, I wish I'd seen this a lot earlier. If it's not too late, I did some of this editing and I'm happy to talk about it. I'm very good with English, but I don't know any Japanese; I've been trying very hard not to make assumptions about the Japanese text when I'm helping out around here. It's a skill I need to practice.
  • 2) To clarify, the confusion about this line is coming from two different things; "I'm telling you" and "either" are unrelated to each other. It's just natural in English to follow up "I'm not" with "I'm not either."
  • 4) I think I understand what you're saying, but I'm not sure there's a concise way to get exactly the same meaning in English. Maybe "The cleaning won't get anywhere!" better implies that it's a recent problem?
  • 5) No wonder this line was confusing! It seems the problem is in the first sentence, not the second. "Simple" also means "easy to understand," so it would be strange for her to say "It's simple. I don't understand." In that case, I would go with "blunt" or "curt". Perhaps, "How blunt. I don't see why."
  • 6) That one probably just wasn't a very good change. "Tonight the moon is so red" just sounds a bit awkward. Strangely, "The moon is so red tonight" sounds better, even though it's basically the same. I don't know why I didn't do that from the start.
1 has been explained, and I... I don't really remember what I was thinking anymore with 3. I apologize if I've stepped on toes, or degraded anyone's hard work. I'm a bit new to the wiki. Sorry for taking a month to get back to you folks, too, heh. 76.237.189.74 20:46, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

Correct or not correct[edit]

Looking over the past edit history, I noticed that starting from this edit that someone seems to have quoted the English patch verbatim, replacing the text before it (most notably Rumia's "Is that so"). I'm considering reverting it, but I'm not a translator, so I can't tell if the former text is more correct than the patch's or not. Advice or action from someone more versed with translating would be appreciated. !8RstuPId2Y Talk Contribs 00:08, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

久々のお仕事だわ。[edit]

I know not much Japanese but it might it say something like 「It's your job a long time.」? Again sorry for my bad english. VistaXP (talk) 17:36, 3 January 2013 (EST)

Changes[edit]

These are the changes that I have made in EoSD Reimu's Scenario. If anybody finds the original way more appropriate, please let me know.

  • You've got a formidable enemy right in front of you! ---> Don't you see a formidable enemy right in front of you?
  • I'm a perfectly normal shrine maiden. ---> I'm a normal human who works as a shrine maiden.
  • There is someone in the mansion who likes to mess with time and space. ---> ... mess with space.

The original doesn't mention anything about time

  • Now you'll let me meet with the mistress, right? ---> Now I wonder if you'll let me meet with the mistress.
  • The symbol ~ and - will be translated as ... or just repeating the last syllable three times depending on the context.

Kageshirou (talk) 04:15, 28 July 2016 (UTC)

I changed it so Rumia doesn't sound like a snake. ― Darkslime 19:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)