Talk:Mystical Power Plant/Story/Sanae and Kanako's Bad Ending

From Touhou Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Hello~ I'm stopping by to tell you three things: 1) I am extremely happy you're working on this. 2) Japanese words have no distinct plural when translated to English, so I'd like to request that you refer to them as if in singular form,'Youkai'.^^; 3) I think the author of the original script was imitating ZUN's style of storytelling.

Keep up the excellent work~ Risanderu Yumikozuki (talk) 13:25, 19 October 2013 (UTC)

Well, it's not a final version. I hope that someone could do a review of endings. Necrotek (talk) 13:36, 19 October 2013 (UTC)
I'm a bit uncertain whether I would be be of much help checking if the translation flows well enough whilst being correct, but I could do some cleanup on grammar if you'd like me to.^^;Risanderu Yumikozuki (talk) 14:52, 19 October 2013 (UTC)
Probably not the endings but it would be helpful if you could check stage dialogs. BTW, probably you don't know, there is a translation project for this game and it's almost completed. If you're interested, check MoTK forum. Necrotek (talk) 15:27, 19 October 2013 (UTC)
They seem to be quite impeccable.^^;Risanderu Yumikozuki (talk) 17:35, 19 October 2013 (UTC)
Ah, I see. That's good if you think so^^ In that case... could you check Sanae's Bad ending (it seems Flan27 did a check a little while ago) and both Reimu's endings if you didn't try them yet. And if you notice that Marisa's Endings or Sanae's Good ending were edited after this moment, take a look at them too :) Necrotek (talk) 17:49, 19 October 2013 (UTC)
I'll see if I can mark them.Risanderu Yumikozuki (talk) 18:35, 19 October 2013 (UTC)
I do little checks on things, but I tend not to make it through the whole thing before I decide I'm done. The little notes on the pages seem like a good way for multiple translators to check the translations. (Although they don't all really point out problems. I don't see what's wrong with the comma near the beginning of this page, for example.)Flan27 (talk) 12:51, 20 October 2013 (UTC)
Thank you very much.^^(I assume you mean to say "By the way their clothes became dark—". Putting a comma there is incorrect unless you're introducing a new subject. "By the way, how is your mother these days?")Risanderu Yumikozuki (talk) 13:48, 20 October 2013 (UTC)
I asked my friend who tries to study Japanese, he thinks that it should be something like "Not only that but their clothes became dark after being scorched by the lightning." Necrotek (talk) 14:13, 20 October 2013 (UTC)
I concur. I think that would be fitting.Risanderu Yumikozuki (talk) 14:41, 20 October 2013 (UTC)
The Japanese here is ついでに言えば, which could literally be translated as "while I'm at it I might as well also say" which basically means it just connects the previous sentence to this one. "By the way" isn't a literal translation but it does the same job, and "Not only that" would also work fine. Simple things like this can be translated in a lot of different ways, but anyways it is indeed introducing a new subject, so the comma should remain.Flan27 (talk) 14:44, 20 October 2013 (UTC)
It's still grammatically incorrect.^^; If that's so, then you would need to connect it to the previous sentence. Making a new sentence is not correct.^^; What I mean to say is that you cannot pause a sentence you've just started. "Hello my, name is Yumikozuki."Risanderu Yumikozuki (talk) 14:47, 20 October 2013 (UTC)
Some sentences begin with phrases that either relate the sentence to the previous sentence or change the subject. "By the way, I'm going to the store." "Anyways, I'll see you later." The comma is even in the Japanese text, there's not much to argue about.Flan27 (talk) 14:56, 20 October 2013 (UTC)
I read it in a different context. I apologize. I see.^^;Risanderu Yumikozuki (talk) 15:26, 20 October 2013 (UTC)
Yeah, sorry I wasn't more clear about it earlier. Anyways, "Not only that, but" works very well in this context, so I'll change it to that and take out the note.Flan27 (talk) 15:36, 20 October 2013 (UTC)
No issue at all.^^;Risanderu Yumikozuki (talk) 15:43, 20 October 2013 (UTC)