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Talk:Urban Legend in Limbo/Story/Koishi's Script
Revisions
- 1 Koishi defeats Reimu
First one: "a" -> "the". Second one: There's no "too" in the original line.
- 2 Koishi defeats Marisa
Minor phrasing edit. "What's inside it?" -> "Whatcha got in there?"
- 3 Koishi defeats Ichirin
Retranslated to be closer to the original phrasing.
- 4 Koishi defeats Byakuren
First one: minor rephrasing, added more emphasis in the second line to fit the Japanese phrasing. Second one: needed lots of cleaning up/clarification. Also 味 was mistranslated literally.
- 5 Koishi defeats Futo
"long lost tenth plate" -> "the tenth plate you desire"
- 6 Koishi defeats Miko
"Won't you?" -> "Right?"
- 7 Koishi defeats Nitori
Phrasing edit. Added italics.
- 8 Koishi defeats herself
Added the meaning of も, as it sounds as if she is responding to herself. "Hello~" -> "Hello, hello!"
- 9 Koishi defeats Mamizou
Rephrased to reflect her use of ならぬ. Retranslated as 2 lines instead of 3.
- 10 Koishi defeats Kokoro
私の方 appears to refer to Koishi herself so retranslated.
- 11 Koishi defeats Mokou
Minor change.
- 12 Koishi defeats Shinmyoumaru
First one: minor change. Added italics. Second one: rephrased to reflect more clearly the situation where in Koishi invited herself into Shinmyoumaru's bowl, and Shinmyoumaru turns her down on the basis that it's a mess in there.
- 13 Koishi defeats Kasen
天と地と人 is quoted as a Cutie Honey reference, but I think it is more appropriate to make a footnote on the meaning of the original term. I took the liberties to localize Koishi's first wish here. "Heaven, earth and people" -> "everything, nothing, and anything".
- 14 Koishi defeats Sumireko
First one: うんともすんとも言わない means “(to be) at loss (for words, for what to do)”. Retranslated to reflect this, although I am not entirely sure what situation Koishi is referring to as she is being unspecific. Her search for someone who knows what a phone is, perhaps? Second one: Rephrasing. Opted for a more neutral translation of ふっしぎー.
- 15 Generic victory
All: "Hello~" -> Hello, hello!. Third one: "trying" here should be in relation to "moving toward the future". Also rephrased.
- 16 Notes
Changed the note about Cutie Honey to be about 天と地と人. Deleted note about iPhone slogans in relation to Sumireko since I couldn't find anything about that online. Rephrased the other two footnotes.