Touhou - The Iron of Yin and Yang/Burontism

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Burontism (ブロンチズム) describes the quote-inducing speech of 2ch celebrity and Final Fantasy XI player, Mr. Buront. When the meme found its way into Touhou fandom, it became the source for much comedy and a surprising number of heterosexual Relationshipping. Much of the jokes in The Iron of Yin and Yang and many other Touhou Uchouten works reference the speech patterns as well, which are as recognizable as the Paladin from the Fenrir server who originated them. His legendary enthusiasm for the Paladin class and Gluttony Sword, as well as dislike of Ninjas, becoming the basis for the plot.

Unfortunately the effect of uniquely Japanese run-ons and typos are difficult to recreate in other languages. The lack of English-speaking Burontists in general means there is no common groundwork, making it an experiment in progress. The contents of this page may fluctuate wildly until popular solutions are found. The current approach is mostly un-capitalized sentences while still inserting punctuation, which will hopefully help readers tell when other characters slip into Burontisms and avoid "correcting" typos.

Regularly Score a Hundred on Punching Machines[edit]

YOu got some mouth on you, you picking a fight? by mouthing off about body blows you have proven you wouldn't stand a chance against me.
the truly strong don't try to explain their strength through words,
instead of talking I would bear my fangs.
besides i regularly score a 100 on punching machines.

They Do Not Praise Because They Want to Praise, Those Who Praise Anyway Are Paladins[edit]

paladins have good skills and stats so LS[1] members depend on them.
but as i learned recently you cannot praise paladins because you want to be depended on.
the ones who praise paladins are people who are true Paladins so they do not praise because they want to praise, those who praise anyway are paladins.
ninjas will disappoint being blunt, they do not use skills and their personalities use /tells leaving a lot be desired, making them hard to trust.

  1. LS: A Linkshell, which allows for sending messages to each other in FF11. Used for connecting individuals as a Linkshell Community, aka a party. The leader holds the shell itself while the others carry Linkpearls.

The Reliability of Paladins vs Ninjas[edit]

paladins were more relied upon than ninjas after all.
i was late for the gathering to fight with the King Behemoth, but it looked like it had just spawned so they were holding together.
i was in Jeuno so i rushed, but the ninja was breaking downish according to the shouting in the ls convo.
apparently the ninja was unreliable so for the ls members shouting "please hurry, please hurry" i used flee to get there sooner than i normally would have to join the fight in hatse and heard,
"he's here!" "so fast!" "yes! we have our main tank!" "now we can won!" and everyone clamored while the Ninja who failed to be a tank was pitifully dead nearby, so i quickly casted flash to start tanking.
the ninja /tell'd me "don't think you've won..." so i guess it was not instantly obvious whose side the LS members were on.
"it's already over" i told him and he shut up, so i circled behind a warrior sub NIN[1] and unleashed a SATA Sfist[2], and after a few times the King bEhenmoth fell.
"it's thanks to the paladin" "thank you i thought we were done for" and everyone forgot to reviev the ninja and gathered around me, and i felt bad for the forgotten ninja.
normally i sup poesp eople would ignore him because of the /tell but i could not ignore him. i would rather everyone was happy and praising so i cast raise on him and maybe he was embarrassed about the /tell, so he went back to his HP[3].

  1. sub: A subjob, or secondary class, which characters can use the abilities of. In this case a Ninja.
  2. SATA Sfist Swift: Sneak Attack + Trick Attack applied Swift Blade
  3. HP: Home Point, as opposed to Hit Points. A preset location characters can return to through spells, items, or from being KO'd.

The Unparalleled Knight[edit]

(A tale posted on a BBS, told by a mysterious stranger who talked in Burontisms)

my LS was grinding subjobs in bAttalia when we got wiped out too, so we were calling for help with the LS and a paladin happened to be hunting tigers in Battalia.
i realized a hero is someone who honestly just happens to be passing by.
in fact he only raise'd our hume F WHM[1] saying "you should be fine" only offering the least charity necessary before continuing on. i saw in him an unparalleled knight.
casuals always try depend on others which is no good.
in fact to make sure we wouldn't get linked, that Paladin killed off all nearby tigers. though clumsy he was prudent and caring of others.
my PT's hume F WHM said "so wonderful the paladin was wonderful!" seemingly deifying him so i told her "he's actually our paladin" and she asked me to introduce him.

  1. Hume F WHM: A human female White Mage

Truly the Paladin Was in a Class of His Own[edit]

the LS's Paladin said he was being held back by the LS and was going to leave the LS.
the leader said “that's your choice but isn't there a better way to do this?” but sadly anyone could tell he just wanted to stop the leaving and the others in the LS told him “if the paladin is leaving i'm leaving too””a paladinless LS has ni future””we'd lose our expert...”
the paladin is fought over everywhere, just yesterday he got an invitation to an HNMLS[1]

when i asked “shouldn't you say something?” the leader /tell'd “don't you want to stay? ;” and i said “HEyy? Any of you hear that? ”
“nope” “someone say something?” “nothing in my chatlog” was the response.
finally the leader said “please stay ;;” after being shown the difference in class maybe he realized his position and was talking politely now.
the paladin told him “this is the result of clinging to position and influence, shouldn't you have just asked in the first place? it's because you got carried away, you know?”
the leader cried not to break up the LS but the Paladin had no attachments. the Paladin tossed away his linkpearl.
the others were saying “his existence was too influential” “we can do nothing” type things but it was now too late.

  1. HNMLS: A Linkshell party formed to take down an HNM, or High (Level) Notorious Monster.

Various tidbits[edit]

  • what you talking to me for all of a sudden?
  • a knight forged from a golden ingot of iron would never fall behind a leather-equipped job class.
  • i'm a delinquent so i'm good at fights and even ride a motorcycle without wearing a helmet.
  • if you keep it up you'll regret it irl eating hospital food in a hospital.
  • see that i totally reversed it with a splendid counter that's what you get for being cocky.
  • i'm a first class burnout and you're weak casuals who can't hold a candle to me. because of casuals talking high and mighty to a first class burnout like me, my rage has reached rapture and shall know no peace for a while.
  • you should apologize immediately, otherwise you will quietly close curtains in the seedy underworld.
  • a cheap LS is an LS that doesn't deserve to have a paladin in the party. paladins shouldn't bother with cheap LSs either, it lowers your personal rank.
luxury HNMLS → equipment is perfect → heart swells so great personality → gets a girlfriend
cheap LS → equipment is small fry → heart narrows and shows on face → never heard from again
  • i will hurl your ass off for real!
  • i am impressed it is a good job but there is nothing wrong with that.
  • so the experience lives.
  • i have a shady job to attend to, so later.
  • i'm a monk class irl and regularly score a 100 on punching machines.
  • my lifespan is going mach from stress.