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Touhou Mother/Dialogue

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This has two versions: the summary and the dialogue, spoken and unchanged (I promise!)

*Fingers crossed, laughs evilly*.

If you do not understand the references, please refer to Touhou Mother: Miscellaneous for all your reference needs.

Beginning (The summary)

Reimu Hakurei checks her donation box and (surprise! It's empty) when Marisa Kirisame arrives and informs her that she is bored.
After going to Yuuka's Sunflower Field and bullying Cirno, a meteor falls and Marisa ,being as bored as she was, goes to investigate (leaving Yuuka in the dust.)
The meteor opened up to reveal a new threat to Gensokyo, the Starman.
After defeating him, Reimu spots a chubby human laying on the ground.
Not wanting to leave a fellow human (even a chubby one), Marisa decides to fly to the Scarlet Mansion to enlist the help of Patchouli (in the process, leaving a gaping hole in the wall in Patchy's room)
Patchouli wasn't too happy about the wall, but began to seduce Marisa.
It didn't work, as Marisa had other things in mind... like figuring out what do with Chubby.
Marisa, however was suckered into spending some "alone time" with Patchy while Reimu searches for Remilia because Patchy is "worried about her"
As Reimu reaches for the door handle, Remmy bursts in and crys to save her from Sakuya, who is wearing a strange mask!
After agreeing to help her, Reimu and Marisa faces off with Sakuya, with Patchouli assisting.

Beginning (The Actual Dialogue)

Story Text

One day, in Gensokyo.
At the Hakurei Shrine.
*Reimu checks donation box*
*Sighs*
*Marisa runs in*


Marisa

Reimuu!
Well, that's unusual.
You're actually up already!
Seriously, you're turning into Yukari with that super-lazy lifestyle!
...Or maybe it's the other way around?

So, uh, Reimu.
I wanted to consult your incident radar.
Has anything happened recently?
*Reimu looks confused*

Marisa

Well, I've got nothing else to do.
Just wondering if anything... happened.
*Reimu shakes head no*

Marisa

...Nothing.
Well, nothing to be worry about.
Then we've got some spare time.

So, Reimu.
...Um, you want to go to the Sunflower Field?
...Yuuka might be doing something interesting.

If Reimu says no

Marisa

Then the game can't proceed.
Sheesh, like you're busy with anything!

If Reimu says yes.

Marisa

Ok, it's settled.

*Marisa joins Reimu's party*

*At Sunflower Field*

Marisa

...There she is.

*Walks towards Yuuka*

Marisa

Hello! ☆

Yuuka

Hah...nothing today, either...

Marisa

Huh?

*Turns around*

Yuuka

wh...Marisa?...Haaa...

Marisa

What's up, Yuuka?

Yuuka

Have you seen Wriggle around?

Marisa

Why do you ask?

Yuuka

....I'm pretty sure Wriggle's here somewhere.

*Wriggle Appears*

Yuuka

Or at least, I have a feeling...

*Kicks Wriggle Offscreen*

Yuuka

I wanna go beat her up. 

I won't be satisfied knowing there might be someone like her running around.

Marisa

...Ah... I see.

...Sorry, I guess she wasn't very interesting.

Yuuka

Hah...I hope she'll show up quickly.

Marisa

Quickly? You mean,like,not you?
*Cirno interrupts*

Cirno

Hooold uuup!
*Pops out of sunflowers*
It's me, at your service!

Yuuka

...Who asked for you?

I'm not looking for fairys.

What are you doing here?
You'll just make the flowers wilt.

Cirno

You were gonna try to bully Wriggle, weren't you?

I am a friend of justice!
I cannot simply stand by and watch!

*Yuuka stares at Cirno*

Yuuka

...Better idea.
Forget Wriggle, you'll do.

Cirno

W...What?

Marisa

I'll help! Friends of justice are practically my breakfast!

Reimu! You want in on this too,right?

*Reimu agrees*

Cirno

...Now you're just being mean.

*Fights and defeats Cirno*

*Cirno is punched offscreen*

Yuuka

Ahahahaha! Thanks!

NOW I'm satisfied!

Marisa

...Sorry.She was completely uninteresting.
...Let's go.

*Yuuka spots something in the distance*

Yuuka

...What's that?

Marisa

W-what?
*Meteor falls and hits Cirno*

Marisa

...That was ...what...?

What was that?
Something fell out of the sky!
Reimu! 
Did the Hakurei Border break or what?
*Reimu is puzzled*

Marisa

...This is intriguing...

Yuuka

...Well then, let's not waste time.

*Turns*

Marisa

Yuuka!

*Yuuka slowly runs towards meteor crash site*

Not fast enough!

Marisa

Ah right, of course.

...Well, we can't afford to miss this!
Let's go Reimu!

*Runs past Yuuka*

Yuuka

W-what? Wait for me!
*At meteorite*

Marisa

...So this is that thing that feel from the sky?

...But what is it?
...I don't have the slightest idea.
I mean it,ze.
*Alien appears*

???

...*whirr* We have found it. A new land. A whole *click* world.

..We will *whirr* take it. 
For our angel.

''*VS Starman JR*'' ''*Defeated Starman JR*''

Yuuka

...F-Finally... I... caught up...
W-What was that?

Marisa

...Yuuka?!
You missed out on all the fun!

*Reimu excitedly points off in the distance*

Marisa

What's wrong Reimu?

*Reimu grabs Marisa and turns her toward to where she's pointing at*

Marisa

Eh?
...!

*A chubby, unconscious person is on the ground nearby*

*Touhou mother interlude playing LOG-O-TYPE*

Yuuka

I wonder if we should be helping a guy like this...

He looked fine lying in the flowers to me.

Marisa

Hey, I'm a human being, y'know.
I won't just leave other humans to die.

But unless your really, really lucky, I'm not gonna obey your every whim!

*Reimu whispers something*

Marisa

You're kidding me!
We have to carry him all the way to the mansion?!

Screw that! Hold on tight, 'cause we're doing things my way!
*Flys into the Scarlet Devil mansion, making a hole in Patchouli's room without waking Meiling*

Patchouli

...Oh, Marisa.
...Couldn't you used the entrance?

Marisa

I've made you a new entrance! 
How could you complain about that?!

You're always like this, Patchouli!
Anyway, here's this fat guy.

He collapsed.
...Wasn't my fault.

Patchouli

...Ah yes.
...First, you should lie him down on a bed.

*Reimu notices the Marisa colored bed next to Patchouli's and stares at her*

Marisa

Uh Reimu. Something's suspicious, But I'm not sure what's fishy, exactly.

*Reimu glares at Marisa*

Marisa

No, I'm sure Patchouli's fine.
She's a magician too, so I know her.

So...maybe the person I'm thinking of is you, ze!

*Reimu gives a exasperated look*

Marisa

...Uh...

*Looks at Patchouli desperately*

Patchouli!

*Uses eyes to beg for backup*

Patchouli

...Marisa, there is nothing wrong with me saying to use my bed.

*Marisa glares at Patchouli, (clearly that wasn't the backup she wanted)*

Just accept it.

*Marisa gives one of those "We're going to have a long talk about this later" looks*

Marisa

... I guess there's no explanation 
Anyway!

*Tries to change subject*

Now to do something for this guy!

Patchouli

...Yes,yes...

*Marisa Tosses fat guy on bed*

Marisa

How's that?

Patchouli

Doesn't he still look rather uncomfortable?
Whatever, we'll leave him until he wakes up.

Marisa

What? Look, you can't just push me around.
I'm not giving out favors.

Patchouli

You'd really say that?

Marisa

Would I lie, ze?

Patchouli

Well I have some drinks. Want anything?
I believe I have a Big City Cola.

Marisa

...N-No, we can just relax here...

Patchouli

Well...

*Gives hurt puppy dog look to Marisa*

*Walks slowly away while Marisa squirms uneasily*

Marisa

I... I get it...
I'll try not to be too annoying, ze.

Patchouli

...Hm.

*Marisa and Patchouli sit on sofa*

Patchouli

Right then, Reimu.
Can you go check on Remmy for me?
I'm really worried about her.

Marisa

Why's that?

Patchouli

I haven't seen her lately.
It might not be anything serious, but...
I'm still worried about her.

Marisa

I guess I understand.

(Editor's note)

For those not with it, Marisa and Patchouli aren't REALLY going to drink Big City Cola. 
It's a excuse for  Marisa to sit with Patchouli, and to get some "alone time", 
Patchouli sends Reimu away to find Remilia who they both know is ok...)

*Reimu reaches for the door*

*Remilia bursts through door*

Remilia

Help me, Patchouliiiiiiiiii

(Editor's Post-Note)

...Annnd, much to everyone's surprise(and Patchy's displeasure), it turned out to be an utter coincidence that something is
wrong!

Sakuya?

Kukuku....What's wrong mistress?
It's too soon for playtime to be over.

Get back to your room and study!
I'm always here to be of service

Remilia

Ahhhhh...!

Marisa

Who is that...
And what's with her ugly face?

Patchouli

It's Sakuya. 
The mask was there yesterday.
...I'm not sure who put it on.
*Remilia cowers behind Reimu*

Remilia

Reimu!... Listen to me!
Please... help!

Sakuya?

Hoho, mistress.
How unfitting of you to beg.

Aren't you suppose to be a vampire?

Remilia

But...well...

Sakuya

Reeeiiimuuu...
Do you feel this maid girl is in your way?
If Reimu says no

Remilia

Reimuuu....

*Are you stone-heartedly denying Remilia's request?*

*If Reimu said yes*

Sakuya?

Hoho, such bravery.

*Sakuya stopped listening*

Marisa

Patchouli. 
What do you think we should do?

*Not paying attention to currant situation*

Patchouli

Hm... use whatever method you like.

Marisa

Oh, to return her to normal?

*regains compusure*

Yeah, guess we should deal with her now.

Patchouli

I'll try to assist
Sakuya is always being rude on the job.

*VS Masked Maid Girl*

*Defeated Masked Maid Girl*

Sakuya

...

Marisa

Is that it?

Sakuya

...Mistress?...H-Huh...?

Remilia

Sakuya...

Sakuya

M-Mistress. What has happened?

*Approaches Sakuya*

Remilia

Sakuya! Can't you remember what you've been doing?!

Sakuya

...I-I'm sorry.I don't have any excuse.
All of those memories are unclear...

Marisa

Well, that's fine. We beat you up,
and you were stronger than usual.

...But not strong enough, of course.

*Turns to Patchouli*

Marisa

So, what's this worth?
At least one book, right?

Patchouli

...

...Will you accept my diary?

Marisa

...

...Well,ok, ze.

*Received Dream Diary*

Remilia

...Sakuya, I'm glad you returned to normal.

Now hurry up and get back to fixing up the Scarlet Devil Mansion! 

Sakuya

Understood!

Just me?

Remilia

Hah! You don't work for humans you know!

*Sakuya and Remilia leave*

Marisa

But what on earth is this mask?
Oh hey. 
It fixed itself, ze.

Patchouli

Fixed itself?!

Toss it! Who needs that?!

Marisa

Fine! Take it!

*Shoves mask into Patchouli's face*

Patchouli

Kyaaa...!

*A sound flows from the Mask and Reimu memorizes it.*

*Mask is in pieces*

Patchouli

...I wonder what that sound was?

Marisa

...Huh... hm

Somehow, it makes me nostalgic... 
like it's something I've heard before, but...

*Fatty wakes up*

Fatty

Uhhh...

Marisa

...Oh. You're conscious?

Fatty

...You're...?

Marisa

I'm Miss Marisa. I'm the hero,ze.

*Reimu glares at her*

Or heroine, I suppose.

*Reimu shakes her head, angered her message didn't get across.*

Patchouli

You should give her your thanks.

If Marisa didn't help you, you would have been Youkai bait.

Fatty

...Thank you

Marisa

So, you got that?
Eh,whatever.
Who're you?

Fatonymous

...I don't know.

Marisa

...You don't know?

*Looks at Name Text*
That's not even funny.
At least come up with something creative.

Fatty

...I'm not lying... I don't... remember anything.
...Including my name.

Marisa

Then you've lost your memories?

Like I haven't seen that a hundred times in Touhou fangames...

Patchouli

What are you talking about?

Marisa

Oh,it's nothing important.

...So you really can't remember a thing?

Fatonymous

...Right

Marisa

Nothing in your pockets or anything, is there?

Fatonymous

...There's a piece of paper here.

...It says "Porky."

Marisa

Then from now on, we'll call you Porky.
Is that fine?

Porky

...Yes.

Marisa

Right then, Porky. I'm probably wrong, but do you remember hearing this melody?

*Melody Plays*

Porky

...I don't.

Marisa

So you haven't...

...Okay. Reimu, I think Yukari might know something about this.
...We might as well try,ze.

Perhaps Yukari will prove herself as a sage for once.

Patchouli

Sounds fun.

Marisa

Say, you've got time now, right?
It shouldn't be boring as this place,ze.

So, you wanna come to?

Patchouli

...It's may not be so great here, but I'll restrain myself.

*Suddenly looks serious*

...Marisa. It seems it could be serious...
I have a bad feeling. So take this.

*Recives Magic Ribbon*

It's my magic charm. It might help you a little.

Marisa

Ah,Patchouli.
Thanks!

Patchouli

If Yukari tells you anything important, report back to me as well.

Porky is a human from the outside world.
So I wonder how he got here.

Marisa

So he's an alien, but not the Eirin kind...!
Okay,  let's go, Reimu,!

*At Yukari's House*

*Yukari and Ran are inside*

Yukari

Welcome back, Reimu.

Here for a meal? 
Or a bath? 
Or...me? 

*Reimu looks away*

*Marisa glances at Reimu and steps forward*

Marisa

...
Er, yeah, Food.

Yukari

Oh! 
I haven't expected you to come Marisa.

Marisa

Well tooooo bad!

Yukari

I know that sake is your favorite, Reimu.
so I had made plenty for you.

*Ran looks wearily at Yukari*

Well, Ran did.

Ran

I got really tired...

Yukari

So, about this recent incident...
Is everything OK, desu ka?

No, I'm not quite sure why I said that, either. 

Reimu.
...So,yesterday, a meteorite fell? 

*Reimu mutters something*

Yukari

...I understand.
This has to do with the Hakurei border.

*Reimu mutters something else*


Yukari

...Yes. The Hakurei boder was damaged, and someone has entered Gensokyo...

Using force...

*Reimu wonders about something*

Yukari

...Reimu.
Yesterday, you beat a strange white thing?

*Reimu says something that sounded like yes*

Yukari

...Perhaps they are related to the person who broke through the Hakurei border.

Reimu asks something.


Yukari

Who is that?
And why did they do it?
That, I don't know.

*Reimu says something under her breath, that "something" the editor had to censer out.*

Yukari

...But...

...Yesterday, I had a vision.
...No, I think it was more than just a vision.

*Reimu suddenly perks up*


Yukari

In my vision yesterday...
I was talking to someone.

He told me about a new enemy that could destroy Gensokyo.

*Reimu's face expresses alarm*

and to prevent its destruction.

*Reimu waits in anticipation*

The enemy had to be stopped with a melody.
That is what "he" said.

It started like this.

*A sound sounding just like the one Reimu has received from Patchouli's mask was played*

Is that how it began?

*Reimu shakes her head yes*

...So.

Reimu.
You must find all the melodies!

...I hope "he" was being truthful.
But... he somehow reminded me of you.

*Reimu wonders for a moment*

Naturally, I do not plan to simply sit here folding my arms.

I will be searching, too.

*Rans looks at Yukari with fear.*

Well, Ran will be.

Ran

I'm tired...
I don't wanna.

*Ignoring Ran*

Yukari

...If I find anything,
I will tell you immediately.

So, Reimu.
Do this for the sake of Gensokyo.

Marisa

...Yukari.
Do you know anything about Porky?

Yukari

I have not heard of him.

Marisa

...He's a human, but not from this world.
We left him with Patchouli at the mansion.


Yukari

Good.
Remilia should keep him under strict supervision, too.

Reimu. I should get going.
Use my portals if you want to get around to important locations quickly.

First, though, you should sleep here.

*Marisa looks at Reimu*

Since Marisa destroyed your shrine,

*Reimu glares at Marisa*

it would be a shame if you had to sleep there.
I am such a hero!

...Well, the friend of a hero, at least.
Fufufu.
Well then.

*Yukari disappears with Ran*

*Reimu reaches for Marisa*

*Marisa begins backing away*

Marisa

...Hey, come on. It was an accident.
You know I'm not that bad.

*Tries to change subject*

But this is starting to sound...
strangely serious.
Well, hope you and I don't have too many problems working together.

''*Reimu reaches for Marisa's throat.*''

We're in it together this time.

''*Reimu's hands begin to close around Marisa's throat*''

*Chokes*

We're partners!

*Yukari appears again and Reimu quickly removes her grip, with Marisa gasps for air*


Yukari

Seems Yuyuko found the second melody.
Hurry up and get it.

*Reimu whistles nonchalantly*

I am suddenly glad to have such connections to the netherworld.

*Yukari disappears once more and Reimu makes hand gestures signifying that Marisa is spared... For now*

Marisa

Seems...?
Well, let's go, ze.

*Shudders*

The Netherworld

*At Yuyuko's house*

Marisa

Hellooo! ☆

Yuyuko

Oh, welcome.
You're hear already.
Yukari told me everything.

*Reimu notices Youmu staring out the window.*

Youmu?

...I remember when you attacked us in our first meeting!
I fought you once then,
and I will nooot lose this time!

Marisa!
Reimu!
You beat me then, but I will have my revenge!

Marisa

...Uh, who's this?

Yuyuko

It's Youmu.
She's usually sweet, but she's acting pretty odd lately...

Marisa

Aww.
So she's not cursed or anything?

Uh, what's that sound?

*A boom noise is heard*

Youmu?

Mistress Yuyuko, please!
I'm desperate to defeat these girls!
I haven't been training for a week!

It's a duel!

Yuyuko

Excuse her.
This is no way for her to treat guests.

...But, Youmu has the melody.
You'll have to get it from her.

Youmu?

Take it from me, if you dare...

Marisa

Whoa, the music changed.
That can't be good.

*Vs Youmu Never Loses*

*Defeated Youmu Never Loses*

Youmu

Dgyahhh!

Yuyuko

So I guess she really was different.

*Youmu has a sudden realization*

Youmu

Hahhh?!
M-Mistress Yuyuko!
What was that about me?!

Yuyuko

Aw, you're back to normal now...
That's boring.

Youmu

...Normal?...
...Uh, what's going on here?
I had this really intense dream...

Yuyuko

...Well, it was something intense...

*Youmu tries to think*

Youmu
Reimu.
Marisa.
What just happen?

Marisa

A trail of guts.

*Youmu looks downhearted*

Yuyuko

Oh, what's wrong?

*Fists clench*

Youmu

I'm going a journey, Mistress Yuyuko.
Wait for me - I'll return in a month.

*Head held high with fire in eyes*

I will have no weaknesses to hold me back!

Yuyuko

That's a significant decision.
You know I'll worry about you.

I won't stop you, but...

Youmu

See you.

*Walks pridefully away*

*Get's blasted away by pure energy*

*Yuuka walks in with a straw hat*

Yuuka

Hey, I finally caught up to you.

I used my Master Spark on her, but it took up 6,000 MP...

Marisa

Yuuka! ...What's with the hat?

Yuuka

I found it on the way.
Some pirates gave it to me.

I figured I might as well take it.
Lot's of people around here have hats.

Alice is just about the only exception...

Marisa

I suppose everybody else DOES wear a hat, huh.

Yuuka

Anyway, I'm glad I caught up.
I had to believe in myself and speed up.

Marisa

You know what's a good hat?
My hat is a good hat.

Editor's Note

Im just confirming that Marisa's hat is a good hat.

Yuuka

Reimu.
You seem to be done here, so I'd like to ask you to take me along.

There's no way you'd leave me, right?

*Reimu immediately thinks about Yuuka's speed issue*

Now that I'm here, I've got to help.

*Reimu began to shake her head no*

I've decided I'll follow you even if if you say no.

*Reimu snaps here fingers in defeat*

If nothing else, I look kinda like Mima.

Editor's Note

Hi again! I'm just confirming that Yuuka looks like- OOF!

*The disgruntled community begins beating up the editor and moves on with the story*

Marisa

...Mistress Mima...
Alright,alright.
Come on Yuuka.

Yuuka

I knew you couldn't go on without me!

*Reimu began to object, but cowered away when Marisa and Yuuka glared at her*

*Yuuka joined the party*

Marisa

Hey Youmu!
*looks at the stunned Youmu*
Oh, right.

Yuyuko

Oh, I almost forgot the melody.

Youmu was going to sing it to you, 
but I can sing it instead.

*Reimu and Marisa glares at Yuyuko*

*Yuyuko sang the song well under pressure!*

*Reimu memorizes the melody*

Yuuka

Yuyuko, do you know where any of the other melodies are?

Yuyuko

Not at all.

Marisa

Aw man.
Fine, let's head back for now.

*Leaves Yuyuko's house*

''Reimu reads sign that says "Sorry, I was late" ''Reimu was about to forgive Yukari, but the portal was broken''

Yuuka

Great. Now we have to walk.

''Reimu storms down the steps, wondering how you break a portal''

*They find Patchouli and Porky outside waiting for them*

Yuuka

...Oh?

Porky

Good day, Miss Reimu.

*Reimu has a stupid smile on her face*

Patchouli

Try to not let that kind of thing go to your head.

*Reimu wiped the smile from her face*

Marisa

Porky!
Are your memories back yet?

Porky

No, not yet.
But I do have something to tell you.

Marisa

What is it?

Porky

Miss Reimu, I heard from Miss Yukari.
That you're looking for melodies and she heard about it from "him".

*Looks down*

I think...well, I have a feeling about "him".

*Looks up at Reimu*

...Miss Reimu.
Somehow,I feel certain "he" isn't just a lie.
And collecting the melodies will definitely be a dangerous task.
...Is there anyway I can help?

Please, anything at all.
You have to do your best!

Marisa

...Hey, everything will be fine.

All you need to care about your memories returning.

Porky

I see... well, please, do anything you can!

*Patchouli suddenly notices Marisa*

Patchouli

Marisa
Alice was looking for you.
She looked rather... angry.

Marisa

Angry...

*Suddenly struck with remembrance*

Oh no!
Reimu!
Let's hurry to Alice's place!

*Reimu raises a eyebrow to Marisa's sudden alarm*

Yuuka

Why should we?

Marisa

Alice's house got destroyed!

Yuuka

...Still sounds pointless, but... perhaps you can give us a reason?

Marisa

Well, I went to her house...
And she gave me some tea.

Then I couldn't move.
And my body got all numb.

And Alice was all like...
"You will become like one of my dolls..."

Or something scary like that, so I destroyed her house with magic and ran.

Patchouli

...There is something very wrong with you.

Marisa

...But now I feel bad about it, so I hope she'll let me apologize...

Patchouli

...Hm. Well, go ahead if you want.

*Porky remembers something*

Porky

...I see. 
Please take this with you!

*Gives Reimu a yo-yo.*

Porky

...It's very special to me, but you'll have more use for it.

Marisa

Is it really ok?

Porky

It's fine.
Please use it,Miss Reimu.

Patchouli

Well good luck to all of you.

Marisa

Oh.
Bye

*Porky and Patchy walk off*

Yuuka

So we're going to Alice's place?

Marisa

...Ah. ...I guess...

Reimu? 
Yuuka?
I'd like to ask you to help me again.

*Yuuka and Reimu holds Marisa's hands*


Alice's House

*Reimu and Co go into Forest of Magic*

???

Hooold uuup!

Reimu looks around

*Cirno appears*

Cirno

Like a beam of light, eye'm Blue! Hah-HA!

*Mystia appears*

Mystia

A wing in the darkness! I'm Brown! Gondatossa!

*Wriggle appears*

Wriggle

From out of the thick greenery, that's Green! Gyochonchon Buraaaa! 

Marisa

Yuuka, can you just go and kick them?

Yuuka

Nah. I don't feel like it right now.

Wriggle

We're challenging you as the Gyochon! (Again.)

Cirno

There is a very good chance that... No, we WILL have victory!

Mystia

Gondatossa! Instead of us losing, it'll be you instead!
We'll collect the melodies and save the day!

Marisa

...They really think they're strong, ze... But we'll make them surrender.

Yuuka

Yeah, we can deal with these weak youkai. It'll be easy.

Wriggle

Aw, you always make fun of us... Gyochonchon!

Cirno

Okay! Prepare for a Delta Attack! Yah-ha!

Mystia

Justice! Your death will be quick! Deredere... 

*VS Team ⑨* *Defeated Team ⑨*

*Team ⑨ is a pixalated mess*

Yuuka

Had enough?

Marisa

Yuuka, you're an awesome bully.

*Reimu looks at Marisa and wonders about her choice of role models.*

*They continue*

*Reimu finds a grave.*

My teacher. May the beautiful Mima rest in peace for all time.

Marisa trys not to cry

*Reimu reads a sign at a crossroads.*'

Sign

^ Alice's House, Eientei
> Dead End

*Reimu takes the dead end anyway and finds a sign.*

Sign

End.

Marisa

At least it wasn't a trap!

*Reimu takes another path.*

Marisa

Reimu.
Recently, the fairies' pranks have been really mean. Try not to fall for them.

Reimu rolls her eyes and continues

Sign

This is not the right way. It goes nowhere. Looks like you're an idiot.

Reimu held back tears.

*And another path*

Sign

You went the wrong way again. Are you blind? You can't go this way.

Reimu was hurt inside.

*Reimu follows the path on the ground again!*

Sign

This is not the right path. It doesn't go anywhere.
If you keep following it, it leads to a dead end.

Sign

Got you! Aha!

Reimu destroys the sign with PK Dream and heads back onto another path.

Sign

Just go straight ahead. Believe it.

*Reimu does so. It's a dead end. By now, it isn't a surprise*

Sign

Oh, thanks for listening! Hahahahahahahaha! Go up... hahahahaha!

*Reimu goes up and a cutscene!*

Lucas

Brother... I'm tired...

Claus

Yeah, me too.

Lucas

The black one flew off into the sky.

Claus

Yes, that's sooooo.

Lucas

The stupid-looking one got frozen...

Editor's note

Cirno?
The winged one got blinded. ...But she got better fast.

Editor's note

Mystia?
And the maid-looking one was chasing after them!

Editor's note

Sakuya?

Claus

That was scary! Kids shouldn't have to see things that scary.

Lucas

The blonde one was mumbling to herself about it being scary, too.

Editor's note

I...dk about this one.
Then the one who came out of the ground (...?) went and kidnapped them...

Editor's note

Yukari?
...Are we gonna die like this?

Claus

I'm not gonna give up.
We'll get back to dad and the others somehow. Or they'll find our way to us.

Lucas

...But what if they can't find us? What if that time never comes...?
...Then it's hopeless...

Claus

Stop complaining!
No matter what, we stay together!
Sure, I'm scared...! But if we give up, we're done for!

Lucas

...Yeah...

*Rumia teleports in behind Lucas.*

Rumia

Ehehe... who's this? Human flesh, for me? Is that sooo...

*Lucas turns around.*

Lucas

Wahhhhhhhhhh!!!

*Claus jumps in front.*

Claus

Come on, monster!

Rumia

Hooheehee... you'll make for many meals... heeheehee...

Claus

Lucas! Get out of here! I'll buy you time!

Lucas

Do what?! We're together! I'm not leaving you!

Claus

...Sorry. I'm determined, brother!

Lucas

No! ...I can't run!

Rumia

Twins... twins... hooheehee...

Claus

...There's no choice... Lucas!

Lucas

...We're always together. ...Until the end!

*Fight with Rumia which is interrupted by-*

Yuuka

Yahhhhhhhhhh!!!
Falcon! PUUUUUNCH!

*Rumia backs away from Reimu's party.*

Claus

!

Yuuka

YES!

Marisa

...Hey, don't steal all the attention. There are three of us here, you know.

Yuuka

Are you okay? You aren't hurt?

Marisa

...Yeah.

Yuuka

...I was being kind to the children. Maybe you could learn something from it.

Marisa

What, shotakon? Yeah, I get it.

Yuuka

...Never mind. I don't think you could.

Rumia

...Meat... meat...

Yuuka

Don't think I've forgotten about you, first-boss.
I've brought along these transformation mushrooms if things have to get nasty.

*Rumia begins to back away.*

Rumia

Such power... hooheehee...

Claus

...Thank you, Miss Shotakon.

Yuuka

...Marisa.

Marisa

...Hey, I didn't do anything.

Claus

...Uh, what's shotakon, anyway?

Marisa

So, I guess you're humans from the outside?

Claus

Outside?

Yuuka

Excuse me. You said you saw someone fly into the sky earlier?

Marisa

...Who, me?

Claus

...No, not you.

Lucas

Well, we'd never seen anything like that before.

Yuuka

Then I suppose you are from the outside.

Marisa

...You kids seem pretty well-treated.

Yuuka

Here, children. Have some flowers.

Claus

Miss Shotakon, what do you mean by "the outside?" ...And where's here?

Yuuka

...That's your fault, Marisa. You explain it to them.

Reimu glares at Marisa, since she doesn't want her to mess up Claus any further

Marisa

Nah.

Yuuka

Well, this world is a different world from the world you live in.
That flying person could have attacked you with bullets. Scary.

Claus

I think I understand.

Yuuka

...Reimu. Take them somewhere safe.

Marisa

The destroyed shrine?

Reimu glares at Marisa

Yuuka

Not when it's destroyed! ...We'll have to go to Yukari's place.
What are your names?

Claus

I'm Claus. He's Lucas.

Lucas

...I'm Lucas...

Yuuka

Now, we'll take you to Yukari's house. She's a very powerful old lady.

*Something in the trees goes*

Editor's note

That must be Yukari, but I still don't know why she's there...

Yuuka

You'll be safe there.

*Claus jumps*

Claus

Did you hear that?

Lucas

I did! We're saved! We'll live after all!

Yuuka

Okay, okay. I'll take you on my back. Get on.

*Claus steps aside.*

Claus

Lucas. I'll just walk.

Lucas

Thanks, brother. And you too, Sh... Miss.

*Lucas gets on Yuuka's back.*

Lucas

You smell just like Mom...

Marisa

What, you mean like sunflowers?
Oh, Claus. Want a ride? You can take my broom.

Claus

...Well, okay.

Marisa

Okay, do you want α , β, γ, or Ω?

Claus

...I don't get what you mean. Um, the last one?

Marisa

Okay! FIRE!

Claus

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!

Lucas

Brother!!

Yuuka

...He'll be alright. Probably.

*At Yukari's house.*

Claus

Brooms are scary. Witches are scary. Miss Blonde is scary. ...I'm scared.

Lucas

...

Yuuka

Marisa!

Marisa

I, uh... maybe it was bad of me to do that.

Yuuka

Pardon her idiocy. How are you feeling?

Claus

...I'm getting better.

Yuuka

Well, we're all here.
The nice lady seems to be elsewhere, so wait here for her.

Lucas

Okay.

Marisa

What a timewaster that was. Let's go.

*Aya comes spinning down*

Ayaya

It's Hyperscoop Time!

*Takes picture.*

Ayaya

It's a shocker! Yukari's illegitimate children! Twins, even!

Yuuka

Falcon! PUUUUUNCH!

Lucas

What was that?

Yuuka

Nothing important.

*Leaves to Alice's House*


* At Alice's House*

Reimu can hear Alice's voice.

Alice

Oho, ohoho.... Marisaaa... My Marisaaaaa...

Marisa

...What was that?

Yuuka

Your name, dummy.

Alice

Soon, I will become one with the 12th dimension... (Apparently all this is a reference to Yubel or whoever from Yu-Gi-Oh GX.)
And Marisa and I will become eternally one...

Marisa

...Uh.

*Reimu tries to go past Alice's house since her voice was too creepy for her*

Marisa

Escape is impossible. Escape is impossible. Escape is impossible.

Reimu Sighs

*Reimu enters*

Alice

Oho, ohohohoho... If I can't get this to Patchouli...

Welcome, my siblings! You came running in to give me blessings...

Marisa

Um, sure, blessings.
Alice, I just came to apoligize. ...Um, do you want my apology?

Alice?

...No. Because you and I have become one.

Marisa

...Uh, what. Alice, I'm me. You're not.

Alice?

...So, do you think Patchouli is... good? You know...

Marisa

By "good," you mean... what?

Maybe Alice

Annoying little Marisa! You're so indecisive, and about such a thing!
Marisa! Between me and Patchouli, who's better?!

Marisa

Haaah?

*An uneasy feeling grips Reimu*

Alice

Between me and Patchouli... wh... which... do you l-love?!

Marisa

...I think that depends on your interpretation. I only have a witch's understanding.

Yuuka

"Between Alice and Patchouli, who would you be more happy with"...? Maybe.

Marisa

Oh, so that's what you meant. Well, that's Patchouli, ze.

Reimu facepalms herself

*Alice gets angry*

Marisa

Uh, well, she reads a lot of books. And I don't know a lot of stuff, so...

Yuuka

That's not helping...

Alice?

Patchouliiiiiiiiii... I'll... I'll kill her... oho, hohoho...

Marisa

W-Wait! Alice! You know, you're acting pretty weird today, ze!
Is something cursing you like all the other guys?!

Uh, Alice...

You're cruel, Marisa... But that's why I love you...

Marisa

Nuts...! Well, we've got to beat her senses back into her!

Yuuka

Was she in good senses in the first place?

Marisa

Who knows! The point is, we need to make Alice recognizable as Alice again!

Uh, Alice...

Come, my dolls! Help me bring about our love!

Yuuka

Hey, that's not very fair. We don't have any dolls.

*VS Alice (Sick)*

*Defeated Alice (Sick) was defeated.*

Marisa

Situation handled! I'm invincible! Again!!